My every road leads to you
by DanielaRossi
Summary: "Der, do you think it's just gonna be all white?". He sighed heavily, bringing her closer. "I think it'll be ALRIGHT, actually." 'Cause he can't stand the distance, he can't dream alone...
1. Chapter 1

**Day 1.**

"And here we go with shooting day 1 of Casey's last chemo cycle, starring Casey McDonald as herself and Derek Ven…"

As she came back from the bathroom, after having changed into her new hospital gown, she smiled tiredly at him, gently putting her hand in front of the camera.

"Der-ek, this is my _first_ cycle… and please, don't make a documentary out of it, will you?"

He shook his head, smiling back and putting away the camera. "Alright, princess. As you wish, your highness…"

She sat on the bed and took a look around her room. Everything was so tidy and perfect: the light blue walls, the white curtains on the window, the water bottle on her bedside table. It just looked all so peaceful.

He had just turned over to put their bags in the wardrobe, when she called for him. "Der…"

He froze immediately, dreading what was coming next. As he approached her moving towards the bed, memories started flashing right before his eyes. He vividly recalled that night. They had been lying on the floor for hours, too tired to get up. Kissing her forehead, he had let his fingers graze lightly against her bare hip, his head resting motionless upon her shoulder, nuzzling her neck. "_How did you get that bruise, babe?_"

White. Right now all he could think about was white. White streams running down her veins, white nurse uniforms, white IV bags. White. As in blank. Colorless.

"Der, can you please call Mom? She wanted to bring the family to spend the day here with me, but I'd really like for them to visit tomorrow, maybe. Or the day after it. Just… not today."

He was shaken out of his thoughts and sat next to her, nodding. "Sure. So, looks like it's just gonna be me and you today, uh? I suggest we wait for the nurses' shift change and then enjoy ourselves and…"

Casey cut him off with a swift kiss, moving his shaggy hair out of the way across his forehead. "Der, it's ok. Please, enough with blabbing today. Really, honey, you haven't stopped talking ever since we left the house earlier this morning. I'm sure you mean well and just want to cheer me up, but… it's fine. Really. As long as you don't go messing around with that blonde hospital receptionist on the first floor, I'm gonna be just fine even with you being quiet."

He sighed heavily and put his arm around her back, bringing her close and letting her temple rest against his chest. "Alright, baby. I'm sorry."

"Ah, don't be, you sexy man." She whispered, raising her head up to kiss his earlobe. "Do you think…"

The sudden shrieking sound of a woman's voice coming from behind them caused them to break apart from the cuddling before Casey could even finish her sentence.

"Alright, Miss McDonald… I'm nurse Jackie and Doctor Welsh says we might start running some preliminary tests already and then get right to the first shot, now if you'd follow me…" she paused for a moment seeing Derek stand up too. "Excuse me, you are…?"

"Uh… her boyfriend."

"Sorry, dear, only family members are allowed to…"

"Oh well now, the perks of also being her step-brother..."

Nurse Jackie stood frozen, looking quite puzzled. She sure didn't see that coming and didn't really know what to say.

"Don't worry" said the brunette, trying to relieve the embarrassment. "It sounded so freakishly creepy to me too, at first! You get used to it after a while, even our parents managed to." Casey smiled genuinely, her bright blue eyes glowing with liveliness. Nurse Jackie smiled back, gently tucking a strand of the the girl's hair behind her ear: she couldn't help but notice how pretty Casey looked. _How young, _she assumed as she believed the girl to be in her first 20's.

Indeed Casey had just turned 21 in December, a month prior to her diagnosis, and it had also been her and Derek's third anniversary.

As the the two of them and the nurse walked down the oncology ward, Casey began recalling the events of that day.

_She woke up to a very wintry morning in their apartment in Kingston, awakened from a strange smell coming from the pillow beside hers. A plate of toasted marshmallows. _

"_Hey, Space Case! I see I must've got you pretty tired out last night…"_

"_Der-ek! Stop standing in the doorway, and come here to kiss me good morning!"_

"_No way! You haven't washed your teeth yet! "_

"_Der-ek!"_

_He smiled widely, suddenly running towards the bed to jump onto it, almost smashing her breakfast._

"_Gosh, I'd like to eat those, Mr I like destroying everything in my path!"_

_He pretended not to hear the last comment and kissed the tip of her nose. "Alright princess, have breakfast quickly so we can go on with celebrating your birthday… something tells me you'll be skipping classes at college today!"_

_She eyed him suspiciously, taking a bite of her first marshmallow. Before she even got the chance to finish all of what was in the plate, he'd taken her out to the ice skating rink and then to the local Christmas fair she loved so much, bought her candy , and soon after that, at the end of the day, there they were, sipping hot chocolate on the couch, back at their own apartment._

"_Der, this was the best day ever… I …"_

"_Hang on, I figured you would've also liked this…"_

_He disappeared into the kitchen only to come back a few moments later holding a Dvd in his hand._

"_What is that?"_

_He proceeded to put it in the player, and then threw himself back onto the couch, allowing her to cuddle closer to his chest. As soon as the opening credit started playing on the tv screen, she immediately recognized the movie. Her favourite cartoon. Spirit, stallion of the Cimarron._

_He made love to her halfway through the movie, and then as she entangled her hands in his hair letting his exhausted body rest upon hers, she began to quietly sing along the music playing from the tv, still caressing his nape._

As the needle was piercing the soft skin on her arm, Casey could feel Derek leaning down on her, humming a familiar tune in her ear:

_I hear the wind call my name  
The sound that leads me home again  
It sparks up the fire - a flame that still burns  
To you I will always return_

I know the road is long but where you are is home  
Wherever you stay - I'll find the way

**A.N. Alright guys, so this was the first chapter! English is not my first language, so please don't be harsh when reviewing… i tried my best ^_^ **

**Just in case anyone was still wondering: **

**This is set after Casey and Derek are already off to college (they share the same apartment in Kingston), and already got together (later on there will be flashbacks describing how that happened). Events that took place in Vacation with Derek never happened in this fic.**

**And yes, sadly Casey is diagnosed with leukemia.**

**Italics are flashbacks or quotes from songs.**

**Please, review this, guys, you'd make my day! Chapter 2 will be up soon.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own LwD nor Spirit, stallion of the Cimarron and its soundtrack.**


	2. Chapter 2

It was already late when she was finally able to fall asleep that night, too stressed out from all the hospital routine she had to go through.

Derek sat on the small plastic chair beside the table, not knowing what to do. In just one day he had seen countless needles pierce the very same skin that used to set all his nights on fire and now, as silence filled the whole oncology ward, he finally began to fully process all that had occurred that day.

He repeatedly glanced at her small sleeping figure, all curled up in such a huge bed. Watching her in her sleep had always enchanted him, ever since he could remember.

"_Smarti, I found your…"_

_He barged into her room, only to find the little girl sitting still on her own bed, her index finger pressed upon her lips. "Shh… Smerek, Casey's sleeping."_

_Derek followed his sister's gaze, only to see their stepsister motionlessly lying on the bed, her arms resting across her stomach as her chest rhythmically rose up and down with her breathing. _

_Derek could tell the girls had been playing dress up, since Casey still had a small plastic tiara entangled in her hair. He was amazed at how quickly she had bonded with the little one, seeing as it had only been three months since Nora and her daughters had moved in, but Casey and Marti were already getting along perfectly. _

"_She's tired, Smerek. She studied a lot last night…"_

_Derek was still staring at Casey. She still lightly smelled like the honey he had put in her shampoo earlier that morning. He kneeled down beside the bed so that their faces were only inches apart. Her flawless skin mesmerized him, and he was fighting so hard the urge to graze her collarbones with the tips of his fingers. He couldn't recall seeing anything more perfect than her sleeping form, and as he was staring at her, he could almost feel himself on the verge of eternity, losing track of time, his thoughts dissolving into peacefulness. _

"_I think she knows you don't want to be mean to her."_

_Derek looked up to the little girl, giving her a questioning expression. "What?"_

"_I think she knows you love her. Even if you make her cry sometimes."_

"_I do not make her cry, Smarti. I just …"_

"_Yes you do. I saw her. When you call her names and bug her a lot. She does cry, Smerek. You make her sad."_

_Derek let his gaze wander over Casey once more. A sad smile crept up across his face. "Then I don't think she knows, Smarti." _

"_Or maybe that's why she cries, instead."_

Derek was shaken out of his thoughts as his phone started to ring. He quickly rushed out of the room before it could wake Casey up.

"Nora? Sorry I'm whispering but I'm standing in the corridor and just don't want to mess with anyone's sleep… Did you get my text?"

"Yes I have. That's why I called. I figured she would've been asleep by now. What happened? Why didn't she want to see us?"

Derek sighed deeply, and started rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand. "Well, you know, she had to take many tests… the day went by so quickly, and she was so tired by the end of it. And plus I think she also needed to settle down first. Even just trying to stuff all her bags into the room's wardrobe wasn't an easy task, I really had a hard time with that. And…"

"Alright, I get it. I just… I can't believe I wasn't there on my child's first day at the… hospital. Well, actually there are so many things I can't believe about this… thing… my little girl… she can't be so…"

Derek was starting to panic. He sensed what he was going to hear next and he still intended to stick with his no tears policy, especially in such an already emotional situation for him too.

"Nora? Look, I'm so sorry, but there's this big, scary, hairy nurse heading down my way and I don't think she's fine with me being on the phone in the corridor at such a late hour. I'll call you back first thing in the morning. Bye." He hung up the phone quickly, glad he was able to avoid her breakdown, yet feeling somewhat guilty for not being any supportive of his stepmother.

Soon after, he got back into Casey's room, only to find her wide awake, motioning him to sit on the bed.

He sat beside her, taking her hand in his. "Babe, it's late."

"Who was on the phone with you?"

"Your Mom. She wanted to know how you were doing so far. I said you did great and could be nominated for the Nobel prize in stoical forbearance, seeing as I could've never been nice to a person that would just keep putting needles in my veins, Miss oh Doctor Welsh! thank you for being so nice with me!" he said with a mocking tone at the end.

Casey laughed lightly, and began to gently graze his upper arm with the fingers. "I'd rather have that Doctor on my side, you know" she chuckled. "He's in charge of the chemo thing. And plus, he has nice abs!"

"His sweater had reindeers on it, Case! Reindeers!"

"Woah, take it easy. I was just kidding. But anyways, Derek, it's late, I…"

Derek sighed deeply, quickly cutting her off "Yeah I know, go back to sleep, Case. I'll be here when you wake up."

"That's the point, Derek. You can't spend your nights sitting on a chair by the table. We have no idea of how long I'm gonna have to stay here, and you have college classes to attend, too. You can't stay with me all the time, I won't let you…"

Derek's features tightened. He suddenly stood up. "No way. I see where this is going and no, I'm not leaving you alone here. Get this right."

His stern voice caught her off guard. She hadn't expected such a fierce reaction, and she knew that, at least for the moment, there was no way of making him change his mind. "Alright Der, we'll talk about this again, though."

"I'm not leaving your side. End of the story. No need to bring it up again."

She silently rolled over to lie on her side. As closed her eyes, loving memories came flooding back to her.

_She was lying on her left side, her back facing him. Casey could feel his lips kissing her bare shoulder blades, only to end up grazing the crook of her neck. _

"_Do you really have to go?" she heard Derek moan, her jawline rubbing his cheek._

"_Der, it's my Dad's wedding. It's kind of important, you know." She smiled widely, enjoying the feeling of his arms tightening around her waist._

"_But how can I let go of all of this? You beautiful skin, your warm, wet…" he began in a fake poetic tone. _

"_Der-ek!" _

"_Hey! I was about to say mouth!" he chuckled. "Anyways, really, I'm gonna miss you. You and your gorgeous naked body."_

_She could tell that he just couldn't be serious for longer than two minutes. It would've implied too much emotional talking. Definitely not Derek's thing. She turned over to face him, staring intently into his eyes. _

"_I'll come back, Derek. I'll always come back to you."_

**Day 2.**

When her eyes fluttered open the next day, he found Derek sitting on his chair right beside her bed, a beam of sunlight coming through the window.

"Morning beautiful."

She smiled at the sound of his cheerful voice.

"Look, that's the thing, I got marshmallows for you, but I'm contemplating the idea of asking the nurse if there could be problems with you eating those…"

"Indeed, there would be." said a voice coming from the direction of the door.

"Morning Doctor Welsh" they both said in unison, turning around to face the middle-aged man.

"Casey, it'd be best if you only ate what the food service provides you. Nausea and vomiting are very common side effects of chemotherapy so we might want to keep them under control. Today at nine you will be given your first drugs, which will be pills, and you'll keep taking them for the first week, then we'll see how it goes, and whether it's the case or not to start intravenous chemo agents. We might also need to take a bone marrow biopsy, but we'll see later on about that one. As for now, I suggest you just relax as much as possible. I'll be back in a few hours to see how you're reacting to the meds."

As soon as Doctor Welsh left the room, a nurse came in with Casey's pills, making sure she took them.

As she was swallowing them down, she couldn't help but think that was it. No turning back. No more hiding it. No more procrastinating. Cancer . Chemo. They were all real.

_She had just got home. She felt as if she was doing everything in slow motion, taking off her coat, leaving her purse onto the small wooden table in the foyer… everything just felt so distant._

"_Der…"_

_He was writing an essay for his English class, sitting on the couch in their small living room. He waved his hand at her, without raising his head from the computer to look at her. "Hey babe… How was your day? Did you go to the doctor? What did he say about the bruises?" he said, taking a bite of the huge sandwich he was holding in one hand._

"_Der…" she sighed heavily, as if the whole weight of the world was on her shoulders. "Der…"_

_He froze for a few seconds, then quickly stood up, leaving his computer on the couch and turning around to face her._

"_It's my blood, Derek. It's getting all white." She laughed hysterically, moving her hair out of the way across her forehead. _

"_What the hell…"_

"_It's called leukemia."_

_She heard the flower vase that had been on the dining table being violently smashed onto the wall. _

"_No! No, fucking no… IT JUST CAN'T BE. IT'S NOT TRUE. IT'S JUST NOT REAL. IT CAN'T BE."_

"I love you, Derek." She simply said, putting down her glass of water.

He gently stroked her hair, and at that very moment, she thought that if that moment had lasted forever, she wouldn't have noticed it. 

**A.N.: Alright guys, so that was chapt. 2! Thank you sooooo much for reviewing and following this story… I really appreciate how supportive you're being!**

**Chapter 3 will be up soon. Keep reading and reviewing! **

**xoxo**


	3. Chapter 3

**Day 9.**

Casey had been in the hospital for more than a week. The family had often come to visit, and she would still feel guilty to think about how much she had hated most of the time they had been with her.

Nora would just keep crying all the time, and there was no way to keep her sadness from affecting Casey, too. Edwin and George were acting strong, but they were still clearly devastated, whereas Lizzie and Marti were really trying to help to cheer up the brunette, never allowing themselves to look any weak or sad in front of her.

Derek would finally go home for a shower any time the girls were with Casey. He looked almost paler than her. He hadn't been able to get much sleep for almost ten days and neither could he bring himself to eat properly. Anytime he would try to have a sandwich, he would keep picturing all the many times he had held Casey's head whenever she would throw up after she'd started chemo.

That day Derek left as soon as Lizzie got to the hospital, giving Casey a quick peck before leaving the two girls alone.

"Yeah Der, go have a shower, _please…" _she jokingly called after him.

"Case…" Lizzie began hesitantly.

Her sister resolutely looked at her. "Did you bring what I asked you to?"

"I did, but… come on Case, are you sure you don't want to wait for Derek to be there too? I don't know, I think he might want to be there for support or something…"

"No, Lizzie, let's do it. Now."

Derek, on the other hand, was taking longer than usual to finish his shower at home. Without realizing it, he had ended up standing still beneath the shower head, water cascading down on his head and shoulders, for what seemed to be hours. He just couldn't bring himself to move.

_Their parents were out for the weekend and they had taken the younger kids with them, still not knowing Casey and Derek had been sneaking around behind their backs for a few months already._

_The two of them had been playing in the backyard, chasing each other and dancing in the rain, enjoying their last few weeks of freedom and carefreeness before leaving for college._

_It was starting to get dark and the rain was growing heavier, so they decided to get back inside the house._

_Without turning on the light, hair still dripping wet, she was standing in the middle of the living room, unable to stop smiling, as he kept hugging her from behind, nuzzling her neck and thus causing some other small drops of water to fall on her shoulder. "Jeez, Derek, I got mud everywhere… I need a shower… now!" _

_She turned over to face him, eyes staring intently into his. Her hands were shaking as she tucked a strand of his hair behind his ear. "Will… will you come with me?"_

_She smiled weakly, visibly scared. He stared back at her for a brief moment, then carefully picked her up in his arms to carry her upstairs, his lips pressed hard against her temple._

His phone was ringing from beside the bathroom sink, but he deliberately ignored it, lost in his memories.

_Later that night, a thunderstorm was raging outside, while they were lying on his bed, under the covers. He had never been so close to any form of perfection as he was at that moment, having her beautiful naked form beneath him. _

"_I don't wanna hurt you…" he whispered in the crook of her neck, as she began to shyly kiss his collarbones._

As the phone rang for the third time, reality hit him, as he realized what that could've possibly meant.

Wrapping a towel around his waist, Derek rushed out of the shower, and hurriedly checked his phone, only to see there were 4 missed calls. "Sally?" he asked himself "What the hell could she want now?"

_Sally had just left for college. He had seriously enjoyed how everybody just got so worried when he had threatened to follow her and drop out of school, almost causing his father a heart attack. _

_The option never really crossed his mind to begin with, just as much as he never fully understood what he exactly felt for her, other than undeniable physical attraction. She had slowly turned out to be probably one of his best friends, and he sure loved spending time with her, burping, joking and everything, but truth to be told, most of that time was just spent lying naked in each other's beds, barely ever questioning their feelings towards one another. _

_She had been gone for more than two weeks, and he was sitting back in his recliner, blankly staring at the wall in front of his. He could've sworn he wasn't experiencing any sort of sadness, he was just wondering what was going to happen of him now that the only girl that had actually endured his emotional detachment and total lack of commitment for so long was gone for good. _

"_Der…" he heard a voice coming from behind him in the living room. He knew who it was, as it was so early in the afternoon they were the only ones at home. _

"_Woah, step back Space Case. I'm not letting you try and psychoanalyze me again…"_

"_Der-ek!" she shrieked, coming to sit on the couch beside him. "Can't you see I just want to help you? Der, WHAT IS WRONG with you! I really tried my best in the last few days. I really tried to make you see how I care about you and…"_

"_Casey, there's nothing for you to help me with in the first place!"_

"_Yes, there is! Oh well, I don't care if there is or not, this is not actually about Sally anymore. I'm so sick of you Derek. I know you can't stand my keener ways or whatever you call them, but we've been living under the same roof for three years, three freaking years! Why can't you just show the slightest bit of affection for me! I'm tired of…"_

_He looked back at her in shock. She was actually crying, her arms stretched forward as if to reach out for him. "No, no, no, no! We're not doing feelings AND tears, here! I don't know what you want from me this time, but please take this upstairs, I'm so not up to hearing th..."_

"_I'm done trying, Derek." She stopped crying all of a sudden, sitting still for a few moments, motionlessly staring at him._

_Derek sighed heavily, the look of hurt in her eyes piercing every inch of his skin. "Look, Case. I'm not gonna repeat this twice, and I'll deny ever saying it if anyone asked me, but… it's not that I don't appreciate what you've been trying to do, lately. It's just that honestly, it's pointless. I'm not heartbroken or anything."_

"_I told you this is not about you and Sally anymore. I hate how we always fight, Der. I know I act like I don't care, but, I actually do."_

"_Case, there's nothing I can do about it."_

_She stood up and rolled her eyes, looking fairly mad and stepping right in front of him. "Yes there is, you idiot! It's not that hard! Gosh, Edwin and Lizzie just got along from day 1 and they were younger than us! Just why do you…"_

"_Enough, Case. Stop ranting and leave alone, will you?"_

"_No! I won't leave you alone! I'm tired of this situation, I just try to make things work but you're just like my father…"_

"_Oh really? So I just don't give a thing about you and pretend like you don't exist, uh? Well, at least he got to live 3 hours away from you!"_

_She froze there immediately, heartbreak filling her eyes as he realized he had just crossed the line._

"_Case… I'm sorry… I didn't mean to…"_

_She slowly raised her hand, as if to silence him. "No, you did. You did mean to hurt me. That's what you always do." She turned around and started to walk away from him, when he suddenly stood up from his armchair, grabbing her arm, causing her to face him again, tears still in her eyes._

"_But you know what? It works. It DOES keep you away from me. So I can't blame anyone but myself if you don't wanna be around me."_

"_I guess you got what you wanted, then."_

"_For Pete's sake, Case! I couldn't be mad at my father for the rest of my life!"_

_She looked back at him with a questioning look, taken aback by how he had raised his voice. "George? What does he…"_

"_Case. He might have married your Mom, but we were never meant to be siblings in the first place. You're asking me to care for you as your brother. I'd rather hate you as who I really am than love you as who I'll never be."_

"_But you're not like this, Der…" she began hesitantly. "You're not so mean towards anyone else…"_

"_Jesus Christ, Casey! That's because I'm not IN LOVE with anyone else! And you think you were sick of things being the way they are, well, look at me, now! I'm way much more messed up over it! Screw it, Case. Just screw it!"_

He decided not to call Sally back, sensing how pointless it would've been. He quickly got back into his room to get changed into new clothes to go back to the hospital.

Once he arrived there, he quickly headed to the third floor. "Hey girls!" he cheerfully said as soon as he stepped into Casey's room, only to find an odd surprise. She was sitting on her bed, her now visibly bald head partially covered by a basketball hat.

"Oh God… what… what did you _do?"_

Lizzie looked awkwardly around the room, before she was able to finally excuse herself and leave the two of them alone, going back home for the night.

Casey motioned him to sit on the bed, and so he did, taking place next to her, a look of shock still on his face.

"Alright, I guess this gives you the right to finally go flirting with the receptionist…" she chuckled, unsure of what to say next. "Come on, Derek. It was already beginning to fall out anyways."

He violently shook his head. "It was only a single chunk, Case. Two days ago. That was _it!"_

She looked taken aback, although she had figured he would've reacted like this, nonetheless, she hadn't wanted him to be there because she knew it would've got him even more distraught than he already was, not to say it would've come as quite a shock to him. He started shaking, exhaling deeply with each breath he'd take. "Case… it was too soon. This is just too soon."

She could feel her vision get blurry as new tears were forming into her eyes. "No, it wasn't, Derek. I just… at least I had control over it… I _decided _when to do it."

"No! You're just rushing things I'm not ready for, yet." He quickly cut her off, standing up from the bed. "Doctor Welsh said this first cycle would've probably let you keep most of your hair. He said you would've…"

"Derek" she sternly said, silencing him. "To me, Doctor Welsh says a bunch of things, but the truth is, he doesn't really know what's in store for the future. He's only human, just like me and you…".

Going back to sit next to her again, he let his gaze wander over her beautiful features. He reached out to wipe a few tears from her cheek with his thumb, only to end up grazing her jawline with the tips of his fingers.

"Would it be too pathetic of me if I told you you look even more beautiful every time I see you?"

**A.N.: Ok, folks, so here was chapt. 3 ^_^ **

**I know it was more about flashbacks and dialogues than the other two had been, but I hope you still liked it. I also wanted to thank you SO MUCH for reviewing and liking this fic, it rele means the world to me!**

**I will post chapter 4 very soon, and I'm planning on finishing this story before I have to go back to school, which will be on jan th 8****th****… well, keep reviewing in the meanwhile!**

**Love always,**

**Daniela **


	4. Chapter 4

**Day 29**

Derek had technically been living at the hospital for almost a month by now, and it was one of the toughest experiences he'd ever have to go through. He would spend his nights sitting on a chair placed right beside her bed, his head resting upon it as he'd try to get some sleep which would never come.

Casey's once beautiful body was withering away with each passing day, and he was starting to feel unable to keep her from falling into a down spiral of sadness and withdrawal. She was becoming way thinner than she already used to be, her flaky skin getting dull and bruised. She'd get cold so easily that they had stopped going to the hospital garden for their usual walk, so all she could do in one day was just taking brief, quick tours around the ward or just staying in bed until a nurse would come to administer a new drug into her IV.

"Come on, Case, you gotta eat this."

"What's the point if it keeps coming back up after a while?"

He placed the plate containing her soup down on her bedside table again, sighing heavily. He was running out of patience, he could feel it. He went to sit by the bed again, his hands holding the back of his neck as he was trying to figure out a way to keep calm. "Case, you have to. You haven't eaten anything today. Please, baby…"

"Derek, I just want to _sleep_."

He hated it whenever she'd say that, always stressing the last word. She was starting to never make it sound as if she just wanted to take a nap and it really bugged him to think about the many meanings she could be giving to the verb 'sleep'. He tilted his head backwards, staring at the ceiling as he let out another sigh. "Case, please. Please, just help me out here."

"_Baby! You'll never believe it: I got all A's on my finals! It's amazing, I thought I was screwed! I would've never possibly done so well if it wasn't for you… you really saved my butt, Case. Oh my gosh, thank you so much!"_

_A huge smile crept up over Casey's face at the sight of him running towards her from across the living room, grabbing her by the waist to lift her off the floor, spinning her around in a circle before putting her down again. _

_She laughed as she gave him a quick peck. "Well, what can I say! I was glad I could help you!"_

"_You always do."_

"Hi Casey! How ya doing?" asked Nurse Jackie, cheerfully smiling as she stepped into the room.

Derek's face lightened up, hoping she could raise Casey's mood, but the girl remained silent, turning her head to the window, instead.

"Well…" began the nurse "good thing is, yesterday was your last day of your chemo cycle. Today we're just gonna take some blood samples and Doctor Welsh will give you the results of the bone marrow biopsy you took a few days ago…"

"You heard that, Case? That's good news, right? Maybe we're done with the chemo." Derek was smiling widely as she kept ignoring him, blankly staring ahead of her. When she finally turned over to face him, she gave him a weak smile too, gently nodding. "Yeah, Derek."

Nurse Jackie rapidly checked Casey's IV, and then quickly ushered herself out of the room.

"Der…?"

He promptly got closer as she began to graze his face with her fingers, a sad smile still on her delicate face. Although he couldn't help but notice how much bigger the dark circles beneath her eyes had got, he was still quite surprised to see her spontaneously showing him affection, seeing as she'd been avoiding any sort of actual conversation or physical contact with him over the last couple of days.

"Der…" Her voice was quiet and calm "You know I'm still not done yet." She kept caressing the back of his neck, entangling her fingers in his hair from time to time. A small tear rolled over her cheek, but he instantly leaned over to wipe it off with his thumb, as other ones formed into his own eyes.

"I know, baby. But you will be, soon."

He actually knew there was little hope of that being her last cycle of chemo. Even without knowing the results from the biopsy, they could both already tell Casey was still not ok, seeing as she had started to bleed from her ears too in the past week, every then and there. The two of them stood still, eyes staring into each other's.

"I miss you holding me and just sleeping next to me."

Derek smiled, letting his head rest on her pillow, so that he could kiss her earlobe. "Me too" she rolled over to face him, their noses only an inch apart. "Well, at least now I wouldn't be waking up with your hair in my mouth as usual!"

She started to laugh, and for one moment he saw her once genuine laughter back on her face, briefly relieving his immense sadness. But then she just kept laughing so hard, it quickly turned into silent crying.

"Babe, c'mon. It'll be alright. I swear. We'll always find our way to be next to each other. Heck, may the doctors kill me, I'd make love to you right away, if only I didn't smell like this!" he chuckled, faking a weak smile.

"Derek, c'mon… I might be on drugs, but I'm still lucid enough to understand I might probably be the furthest from being attractive right now. And plus you don't smell."

"Hey, hey!" he quickly interrupted her "Don't think that. Ok, I may have more hair than you do but… I never made love to your hair. I used make love to you, Case. And God only knows how much I would love to do that once more at this very moment."

As much as she could feel the sincerity in his voice, Casey sighed, as she turned her head back to the ceiling. "I miss us, Derek. I know you're always here by my side, and I couldn't even begin to express how glad I am I have you here with me, but… I miss how we used to be. I feel like I just keep being mean to you for no reason, as if I was letting cancer get in the way of our relationship and.."

"_Now I know it's true  
My every road leads to you  
And in the hour of darkness  
Your light gets me through"_

Casey smiled as he finished humming the familiar tune, lightly kissing her forehead. "Yeah, I also miss us watching cartoon movies together on the couch."

"Case…" he stood back up, their eyes still locked on each other's "Baby, you're the strongest person I know. Probably the strongest one on earth actually. So… it might take longer than we thought, but… I know you're gonna beat this. And yeah, that was the typical cliché you would say to any cancer patient, but in your case, that's actually the truth. Just wait and see, baby."

She chuckled as she sat up on the bed to kiss him. He had just expected a quick kiss and was taken aback at how she was deepening it, making it a slow, passionate tongue battle. "Someone's antsy" he murmured, as he leaned over her intending to make her lie back again on the bed, but they were soon unexpectedly forced to break apart as they heard a man clearing his throat from behind them.

"Just what in the world do people here have against knocking…" Derek whispered, visibly irritated as Casey politely greeted Doctor Welsh.

"Uhm, hello Casey, Derek… I'm sorry I interrupted you, but apparently it was best I did. Casey, unfortunately, your results from the biopsy are still not good, seeing as your body is still overproducing white cells. But since those white cells have endured severe genetic modifications due to cancer spreading, you immune system is now very low, so we might want to consider making people around you wear masks and use an antiseptic hand wash each time they enter your room."

Derek looked defeated at the news, although he had pretty much already expected it. "Does this mean she'll have to go through another cycle of chemotherapy?"

"Sadly, yes. But thank goodness we caught the cancer at its earlier stages, so the chances of survival are extremely high, especially thanks to her young age. We'll get started tomorrow with the first chemo agents, but this time they won't be pills and will be administered intravenously right away"

Not too late after Doctor Welsh had left the room, the family came to visit, so that Derek didn't have the chance to hold Casey and comfort her for as much as he'd wanted to. He made sure everyone was wearing a mask before approaching her, and then proceeded to leave the room to go home for a shower as usual.

As he was leaving the building, though, he heard a voice from behind him calling his name. He turned around to face who it was, surprised to see it was Sally.

"Uhm, hey, Sals. Uh, what are you doing here? I thought you were living in Ottawa…"

She smiled widely at him, her scent invading his nostrils. He had always hated it. "No, well, I was, still am, actually. I just got back to stay with my parents for a few weeks. Plus Emily told me about Casey…"

_Casey barged into his room, as he could immediately tell she had been crying. He quickly stood up from the bed, hurriedly taking her into his arms. "Case, what's wrong, babe, what happened?"_

"_Derek, we're screwed… I messed up big…"_

_Worry spread across his face at her last sentence. "What do you mean? Just tell me what happened…"_

"_I told Emily about us. I thought she was over you but…"_

_Derek let himself collapse onto his bed, his eyes fluttering shut as he let out a sigh of frustration. Afraid of his next reaction, she hesitantly kneeled down beside the bed, so that their faces could be on the same level. He opened his eyes and slowly motioned her to lie next to him. He wrapped his arms back around her shoulders as she snuggled closer, silently beginning to cry. He kissed her forehead, trying to calm her down and eventually she was quiet again. "What did she do?"_

"_She started ranting about how I could've possibly sneaked around behind her back with the guy of her dreams for three months and how this is so sick since we're almost brothers… and I just got so scared 'cause she was looking really mad so I basically started pleading her not to tell anyone but…"_

_Derek really tried hard to keep himself from slapping his hand onto his forehead, not wanting to make her feel worse about herself. That was really the last thing she should've done._

"Yeah, of course, the Davis' can't just keep their mouth shut." Derek replied in a husky tone.

_Everybody had just been called downstairs for an emergency family meeting in the living room. Casey and Derek were the last ones to join them, already fearing what it was going to be about._

"_You!" Nora angrily began, threateningly pointing at the two of them still standing at the bottom of the staircase, next to each other. "How could you do this!"_

"_Anyone minds telling me whether or not I'm in trouble too?" Edwin interrupted, only to be shut up by a glare from Lizzie._

_Casey was looking down, already beginning to feel tears forming into her eyes. Her fingers reached out for Derek's hand, as he promptly tightened his grasp around her wrist. "Nora, please, listen, we only…"_

"_Shut up! Shut the fuck up Derek!" George yelled out of the blue, standing up from the couch. "The Davis' themselves came here this morning to tell us that apparently their daughter has been TERRIBLY SHOCKED with news of your incestuous relationship! Now WE were BEYOND being terribly shocked ourselves!"_

_Derek rolled his eyes in frustration, anger already burning at the top of his lungs. "Oh God, this is not happening…"_

_Casey instantly grabbed him by his elbow "Please, Derek, don't make it worse…"_

"_Yeah, Derek, listen to your new girlfriend! She really knows how to pay some respect to her parents by sleeping around with you!" Nora paused for a few seconds, staring intently into her daughter's eyes "She completely deceived her mother."_

"So uhm, still… I don't see why you're here. You and Casey have never been that close anyway."

"But I _was_ close to you. And I figured it would've been nice to just let you know I'm here. For anything." She smiled again, as she tried to reach out to pull him into a hug.

He stepped back. "Uh, yeah, well, thanks. But I'm sure me and Casey will both be just fine…"

"Wait!" she called back as he'd started to turn around to walk away "Uhm… isn't it weird that we both keep saying uhm or uh? We've never been this embarrassed in front of each other…"

"Well, I'm not embarrassed, I'm just tired. Plus I really need to go home to take a shower, and then come back here so that the family can go back home themselves…"

"Why don't you let _them _stay with her for just one night, instead? They're _her _family too, Derek, you know. Plus you look like shit."

"Thank you very much."

"You know what I mean. How can you be of any support to her if you can't take care of yourself, first?"

"Sally, you're missing the basic point, here."

"No, D, you are. You can't let yourself get so…"

"Sals, you know I've always been blunt, but spending a month here really made me turn into a very mean and mouthy person too. So please don't make me tell you what I'm thinking now."

She pretended not to hear his last sentence. "Derek, if she really does love you, she'll feel just as much bad to see you like this as you feel anytime you look at her being in this sort of situation…"

"Woah, ok, Sally, that was it." He placed his hands on her shoulder, in an attempt to keep her away from him. "That's the thing, you see? You just don't know what love is, and trust me, you'll never find it if you just expect to keep looking for it without keeping your clothes on. I'm perfectly aware of the fact that I look like shit, and I'm still a _whole _lotta better than she's doing right now. But I've never felt sad anytime I would look at her. Yeah she's bald and she's got these weird smalls veins creeping up from beneath her skin almost everywhere, but… I feel like the sun itself was shining right on me whenever she smiles back. And I know it's cheesey, and God forbid I should ever say this again, but it's exactly how I feel. I'm not tired. I barely got any sleep at all in the last month and I'm probably losing as much weight as she is but… I just don't think I could care less. I don't feel any physical tiredness. I'm only just so fucking depressed I have to see her like this, puking and just being sick, whereas I could've been waking up with her in my bed every morning, at home… This is just so…"

He had started to break down, and he knew there was no way to stop himself at this point. He had been pushing all his sadness into the back of his mind for weeks by now, wide aware of the fact that it would've only caused Casey some more distress. Nonetheless, discussing his own feelings in front of Sally had just brought to surface what he had tried so hard to conceal. As tears were already straining his cheeks, a slight sense of guilt and shame rushed over him for letting himself cry and simply break down in front of none other than his ex-girlfriend, whereas all he really wanted to do was just to go back on the third floor to his brave little fighter.

She pulled him into a hug and this time he felt just too weak to get away from it. "She's my everything, Sals. She's always been." He whispered into her hair.

"I know, Derek. I knew _all along_."

_They were lying on her bed, her blonde hair spread across his chest as she was resting her head upon his abdomen. "That was amazing, Der."_

_He kept blankly staring ahead of him, totally not listening to her. "Der?"_

"_Yeah?" he finally said, looking down to meet her eyes._

_She sighed heavily, her eyelids slowly fluttering shut in frustration. "Just tell me why, Der. Why do you always have to keep thinking about…"_

"_About what!" he angrily cut her off as he sat up, reaching out for his clothes and beginning to get dressed again, visibly irritated._

"_You should say 'about whom'"._

He pulled back from the hug, smiling at her and slowly wiping away his tears with the hem of his sleeves, his eyes still red and puffy. "Look, Sally, uhm… I'm glad I got to see you again but…"

"Don't worry. I won't come here anymore. And I won't call you either."

His smile grew wider. "Thanks anyways."

"Take care, D…" She was waving her hand as she slowly walked away from him. "I hope she'll get back to normal."

"She will. She'll always come back to me, in the end."

**A.N.: Sorry guys, I knew this was long! :D**

**Thank you so much for reviewing, please keep doing back, feedback is always welcome :D**

**To those who were wondering whether this will have a happy ending or not… well, I wish I already knew the answer too! Lol! I still have to decide what will happen of Casey. Let me know what you guys think things should end up like, and we'll see about that! **

**Chapter 5 is gonna be up soon. **


	5. Chapter 5

**Day 46.**

"Derek!" Casey cried in pain, holding her stomach "It hurts…"

He kept placing quick pecks on her forehead through his mask. "I know, baby… Just try to get back to sleep."

She had woken up in the middle of the night half an hour prior, due to her constant pain. The second cycle of the chemo was really taking its toll on her already frail body. She'd keep throwing up whenever she would try to swallow anything down, and although her nose and ear bleedings had stopped, she had started to experience unbearable pains in her lower back and joints.

"Derek, please, stay with me…" she whispered, her hand slowly reaching out for his gloved one. Her eyes were beginning to slowly fall shut again as she let a restless sleep take over her once more.

"_Derek, please, don' t leave me…" she cried out as she followed the two men up the stairs. _

"_Dad, just let go of me!"_

"_No, I won't!" George yelled out, his bloodshot eyes bulging out of his sockets. He firmly tightened his grip around his son's elbow, and dragged him up to his room as he twisted his arms in an effort to free himself from his grasp. "Now pack up so you can get the hell out of here." He threateningly muttered, finally letting go of him, "Your plane takes off at five a.m. tomorrow… and as for you!" the man quickly turned around to the shaking brunette standing behind him, her wrists held high beneath her chin in defense. "Don't even think you'll be coming to the airport with us…" and with that last remark George stormed out of the room. _

"_Derek!" she cried out as she promptly got into his arms "Derek, what are we gonna do now?" _

_The fact that she had been so devastated over the last few days had really got to him, he couldn't stand having to see her cry her eyes out every time their parent spoke to them – well, yelled at them, to be exact . "Baby, look at me" he cupped her chin, gently tilting it upwards so that her gaze could meet his through their tears. "Case, please don't cry. It kills me to see you like this, please, baby… it'll be ok. I promise you."_

"_But what will happen next?"_

"_Casey… it's the middle of July. College starts in the late August, right? So that means my mother will have to send me back by then. And plus she's not like my Dad… she'll understand."_

"_What if they made you switch college? They'll never let you live with me, Der… They're sending you off to Spain, for Pete's sake" she laughed out hysterically. _

_He sighed, and even though he knew she could've possibly had a point there, he intended not to get her any more worried. "Case, I'll find a way to make it back to you. Even if I had to steal money from my mom to afford a plane ride back to Ontario to live like a homeless in Kingston. Just to see you walking down the streets on your way to college." _

_They both chuckled, his weak smile mirroring into her eyes. "And Case… Here…" He got down to his bedside table, pulling something out of the drawer and handing the small, velvet box to her. "I wanted to give it to you on our first day home together in Kingston, but… at least you'll have something to remember me by while I'm gone" he looked down at her as she opened it, only to find a small, silver chain necklace lay inside, with a pendant shaped into a sun. _

**Day 53**

"Jesus Christ, doctor Welsh, do something!"

The middle aged man looked down, holding back what would've been a harsh reply. "Derek, it's not my fault she's not collaborating!"

They were both standing on the door to Casey's room, looking at her struggling to no avail as some other doctors and a few nurses were keeping her restrained to the bed, where she laid on her side with her gown brought up to her chest, exposing her bare lower back. She'd been crying out in pain for two hours. They had been performing a bone marrow aspiration, inserting a syringe into her hip bone, but a "dry tap" had occurred, meaning the fluid couldn't be withdrawn. Therefore they had to keep moving the needle for other attempts, making the already painful procedure truly excruciating for the poor girl. The more she fought back, the harder it was for the doctors to get done with it.

"Just give her some pain killers, I don't know, just don't leave her like that!"

"Derek" Doctor Welsh sternly began, his patience long lost. "She already took them and we can't have her overdose. I believe it would be best if you left the room, by now. Your worrying presence is only making it worse on her."

A male nurse began to walk down Derek's way.

"No, I'm not leaving her! Gosh, just look at that, you're butchering her!" Derek protested as Casey cried out some more, her blood sputtering onto one of the doctor's chest as they inserted the needle back in for the umpteenth time.

The nurse tightly gripped his arm and forcibly ushered the young man out of the room, despite his fierce resistance.

At that point Derek could only sit back in the small plastic chair that was outside in the corridor, burying his head into his hands as her cries echoed into his mind, his heart pounding hard against his ribcage. "God, please… please, just make all this suffering worth it…"

"Derek? Is this Casey?"

He stood up from the chair as he saw Nora approaching him, looking around herself as she tried to identify where all the screaming came from. "I just got here and I heard all this…"

"Yeah, that's her…" Derek exhaled deeply, still shaking as he tried not to break down once more "They're doing a bone marrow aspiration but they can't get the fluid up so it's getting complicated…"

"Oh my gosh! My poor baby!" Nora cried out as she suddenly let herself collapse onto the floor, down to her knees… "No, please… please, my baby girl…"

Derek promptly grabbed her by her shoulders, making her stand up again and then sit back into the chair.

"Nora, please… calm down. It's not dangerous, it's just really painful on her, but it's gonna be over sooner or later. Trust me, those doctors in there want to be done with it so they can go home just as much as we want for her to be ok." He let out a deep breath, giving her a weak smile as he squeezed her hands. "Look, you want me to go get you some water? I could ask the…"

"No, no, thank you Derek" sighed Nora, tilting her head upwards as if to try to keep the tears from falling down her tears. "I'm fine, thank you. Just… sit next to me for a bit, will you?"

Nora motioned him to sit on the other small plastic chair next to hers, and he did so. "You know, I really wanted to thank you for how you're being there for her throughout everything. I'm her mother and still, I, myself, don't think I could've possibly been half as strong as you've been, dealing with this is just so…"

"Hey Nora, come on…" Derek genuinely smiled at her "My ego is already big enough as it is right now… No need to get it worse…"

Nora let out a small laugh, as she began to pat his shoulder. "You know, I'll never be able to thank you enough for convincing her to get treated for this…"

Derek raised his eyebrow, questioningly staring at his stepmother. "Uh… what are you talking about?"

"Talking her into chemo. You know, a few days after she was diagnosed I came over to ask her what she was gonna do, like what hospital she was going to go to and stuff like that. We got into this huge fight because she said she didn't want to get any sort of chemo or radiation therapy. She never believed in cancer treatment in the first place anyways… she was sure chemo would've only made the remains of her life be even more miserable. I recall leaving your apartment sobbing so hard for how determined she sounded into not letting herself be cured…"

Derek was shocked, he never thought Casey had ever been against treatment. He'd actually been afraid to mention the option to her for the first week after her diagnosis, intending to give her some time to let the news sink in. He had simply waited for the morning when she came up to him asking him to help her find the right hospital for her chemo. "Then what happened next?"

"She called me back a few days saying she was getting herself admitted here. She just said she was doing that for you. I thought you had talked her into it. Then she also mentioned something about the sun, but I don't exactly recall…"

_She had been pretending not to notice the fact that he'd been sneaking out of their bed at night ever since her diagnosis. She would close her eyes with his arms wrapped tightly around her body, hugging her from behind, and then anytime she'd wake up at night she'd find no one beside her. _

_After a week, she had decided to go see what was going on with him one night. She tiptoed her way downstairs to the living room, only to find him sitting at the dining table in front of his computer, his head motionlessly resting upon the wooden surface next to it, as he sounded fast asleep. His arms were spread across the table, a pen still loosely held in his right hand, which was placed upon a blocknotes. She leaned in, hovering over his sleeping form, to see what he had written. On the left side of the paper there were several names of hospitals along with their contact informations and some personal notes Derek had been taking, e.g. which ones had a very well- functioning Oncology units, or provided extra services, and just random stuff like that. On the right side of the paper, though, he had been scribbling a rough drawing of the sun shaped pendant of her necklace, and right beneath it, it read "SOMEONE SAVE MY SUN."_

_She smiled as she felt tears silently running down her cheeks. Making sure not to wake him up, she got back upstairs. The following morning she solemnly announced him she was going to get started with chemo as soon as possible, and gently asked him to start looking up a few hospitals for her. _

**A.N.: Alright, folks, I guess this was shorter than usual, right? **

**Well, theonceanonymous14, since I wanted to thank you so much for constantly reviewing, I thought it would've been nice to put this little nora-derek moment here like you suggested. Hope you liked it. **

**Actually I hope you all guys liked it, A HUGE THANK YOU goes out to all my other followers and reviewers, your support is wonderful, guys! ^_^**

**Keep checking this fic as chpt 6 will be up asap.**

**xoxoxo**


	6. Chapter 6

**Day 61.**

It had been exactly two months since Casey was first admitted to the hospital. She had just finished her second cycle of chemo and things were slowly starting to turn out to be slightly better. She hadn't been vomiting for a few days straight and her mood was definitely not as bad as it used to be only a few weeks prior. She was finally beginning to start walking by herself again, without Derek constantly having to support her weight for her even to just get her to the bathroom.

Derek, on the other hand, was physically exhausted beyond belief, although he was trying his best to conceal it. He was deadly thin and would be suffering from recurring migraines at any time of the day. Stress and constantly having to wear latex gloves had caused red skin rashes on his hands to start spreading up to the rest of his arms too.

Spring was drawing near. Class attendance wasn't required for any of his college classes, but Derek knew his professors had stopped even considering recommending him for any sort of job, due to his apparent lack of reliability, since he hadn't showed up at the campus in ages. He hadn't been able to open his books to study even the slightest bit and his finals were on the first week of May, thus only two months away. He figured that with Casey being held back at least for the whole semester due to her treatments there was no point in hoping for her scholarship to be renewed, and Nora and George were most likely going to have a hard time trying to afford for both Casey and Derek's college expenses.

All these thoughts kept crowding into his mind as soon as Casey would fall asleep, giving him some time to himself only each night.

That morning he was still sleeping on his chair beside her bed as usual as he was waken up by the sound of her cheerful voice. "Der… Derek, wake up… look!" she sounded excited as she kept patting the back of his head. Still rubbing his eyes, he turned around to see where she was pointing at: the small pot that had been on the window sill of her room ever since their arrival. He recalled frequently asking himself what that pot was for, seeing as the soil in it seemed to be sterile, not even a blade of grass sprouting from it.

"What the… come on, it couldn't have happened overnight…" Derek shockingly stared at the single, small yellow daisy flower fully blooming in front of him. He turned around to look at Casey, only to find she was on the verge of tears.

"Derek, can't you see? It's always been there. _All along_… During the whole, cold winter it just kept waiting for Spring. And eventually Spring did come." She wiped her own tears as she kept smiling. "Derek, this is beautiful…"

"It really is, baby…" He stifled a little laugh as he ran his hand upon her forehead. "Hey" he paused for a few moments, excitement and surprise spreading across his face "Apparently something else has been growing overnight too… Case, I can feel a little stubble on your head!"

Her eyes grew even wider, her hand promptly replacing Derek's over her head "My hair! Oh my gosh, my hair is back!" she quickly rushed herself to the bathroom, to have a look from up close on the mirror.

_She was supposed to meet him downstairs in twenty minutes, so they could pretend to go on separate dates whereas he was actually going to take her out for a surprise. This was going to be their first date together and she had been trying on tons of clothes for two hours before eventually opting for a simple pair of light blue jeans and a purple shirt. She was sitting by her vanity, trying to apply her makeup, although her hands just wouldn't stop shaking. She stared intently at her reflection on the mirror "Cassandra Ashley McDonald" she firmly spoke "Take a hold of yourself. This is just a date. You've already been to one of those anyway. Why should this time be any different?" She raised her eyebrow, knowing the answer was still pretty obvious. "Ok, this is Derek we're talking about. I know. I know…" She let out a sigh, resting her chin upon her hand. "Duh, who am I kidding… I'll never get through this. Gosh, this shirt makes my arms looks huge… Uh! Keep it real, Case. Something tells me the great Triple D will get a bit disappointed at how you'll look tonight."_

"_That's just not possible."_

_She turned around in shock, only to see him leaning against her door, his infamous smirk on his face. _

"_Der-ek! How long have you been there!"_

"_Unfortunately not too long enough to have seen you try on these clothes… and taking them off" He chuckled as he took a look at the mess in the room. _

"_Uh, Derek! You're just… infuriating!"_

"_You've called me worse."_

_She let out another sigh, her hand letting go of her lip gloss. "I'm just so pathetic, Der. I got so nervous I couldn't even put on my makeup properly."_

"_You kidding me! That's pure luck for me. Don't put it on at all in the first place. Trust me. You look so much better without it."_

_She gave him a weak smile, still unconvinced. _

"_I'm deadly serious. Just as much as your eyes are deadly gorgeous already." _

**Day 62.**

"Alright, Casey, so…" Doctor Welsh began, as both Casey and Derek were expectantly looking at him, their fingers intertwined with each other's. "Your white count is still way higher than how it should be if you were cancer free, nonetheless, it's also definitely lower than how it was when you first started treatment. We still have to keep going with another cycle of chemo, but this time it will be less aggressive and hopefully even more successful than your previous one. I've talked to the other doctors who are following your case and we all agreed that we are going to give your body some time before we get started with chemo again, just to give it the chance to recover a bit from the side effects of treatment. So I suggest you enjoy the next few days, as most likely you'll be feeling relatively good. You immune system is also high enough you could possibly go home for a visit… But I suggest you don't stay there for longer than hour before heading back here, just in case."

Casey bursted into tears at such good news, tugging the collar of Derek's shirt.

"Babe, did you hear that? That's amazing! Oh my gosh..." He kept placing small kisses onto the top of her head as he threw away the mask he had been wearing for so long. "Baby… you can come home with me tomorrow… let's make the family a surprise."

"Speaking of that, Derek" Doctor Welsh cut him off "You'll have to sign some forms stating you willingly accept responsabilities for taking her home… if you'd come with me now…"

"Sure, no problem." the young man's face brightened up some more. He kissed Casey's forehead once more. "Be right back baby. Stay beautiful"

They both laughed as he followed the doctor out of the room. As they were walking down the corridor, Doctor Welsh suddenly stopped, turning around to face Derek, who gave him a questioning look.

"Uh… where are the forms?"

"There are no forms, Derek. I just wanted to talk to you in private."

"Oh God…"

"No, don't worry, this is not what you think" The man began to pat the younger's shoulder. "Casey _is _actually getting better. Her white count did lower a bit and we really are putting her treatment program on a hiatus for a very short time. What I wanted to say is, I might have overstated the improvements in her physical conditions. She is getting better, just not _that _much better. Only slightly. And plus, leukemia patients are well known for easily relapsing even after being in remission. Don't get me wrong, I didn't mean to get your hopes up for nothing… indeed, like I told you, there actually is something to be happy for. The thing is, we need to keep her motivated and committed to treatment. Do you recall the doctor that came in a few weeks ago, the one that made you leave the room as he visited her? He was a psychiatrist. He said Casey was beginning to show signs of clinical depression. As far as my personal experience goes, I tell you that people that do manage to get out of the oncology unit on their own feet are only those who would have faith and keep looking at the bright side throughout everything. Therefore my suggestion is, you bring her home to stay with her family for a couple of times, keep constantly reminding her how good and strong she is for being slowly getting better, and just… well, you know, son. Just love her. I know you're damn good at that one."

The doctor smiled at the young man, who was still looking puzzled. And somewhat defeated.

**Day 63.**

The doorbell ringing echoed throughout the Venturi household.

"Georgie, can you please get the door?"

"Yeah, sure…" The blonde man grunted as he got up from the couch he had been sitting on, reading his newspaper. He went over to open the door, only to find Derek holding a very cold and weak, yet smiley looking Casey, standing in the doorway. "Oh my gosh!" He let out a laugh, still not believing his eyes "Honey, come here!"

Nora emerged from the kitchen, and as soon as she spotted her daughter, she ran across the room to pull her into a hug. "Oh honey… it's so good to see you here…"

"_Casey, enough with this stupid hunger strike. It's pointless. Now just eat your dinner."_

_She moved her plate away from her across the table. "I'm not hungry."_

"_Cassandra Ashley McDonald! I'm sick of this, if you…"_

_Nora was cut off by the doorbell ringing, and Edwin promptly offered to go get the door, only to be surprised to see Abby and Derek. "Mom? Der…"_

"_Derek! You're back!" Casey immediately stood up from the chair, her smile finally returning to her face again after a month. _

"_Mommy! Smerek!" Marti quickly ran to the two of them, her face brightening up at the sight of her mother._

"_ABBY! What are you doing here! I thought I told you…" George yelled out, shooting a furious glare at Derek, who just couldn't keep his eyes off of Casey's._

"_No need to lose your temper already, George." Abby resolutely stormed into the room, followed by her elder son. "I think we need to talk." She simply said, placing herself in front of the dining table. _

"_Abby, there's nothing to talk about, oh, well, maybe except for the fact that your son is even much more of a pervert than we already thought he was for sleeping around with his sister and still daring to come back here!"_

"_Step-sister!" Derek finally sighed out in frustration._

"_Der, honey, I got this. Alright, George, so you don't want to discuss this in private, well, then ok. I have no problems with the kids hearing what I have to say. The only reason I first accepted to have Derek stay with me in Spain was because I thought he was only messing around with Casey, so I thought you guys actually had a point when you told me their relationship could've caused the family to split up… And you know what, George? You were all damn wrong. Your son couldn't be any further from being the skirt chasing cad he used to be anymore."_

"_Oh come on Abby… you're his mother, you should know he could fool anyone when he decides to play nice…"_

"_No, Nora. I am totally positive of what I'm saying. He payed for his plane ticket here. He worked as a baker for the whole time he's been in Spain to afford it. And anyone could tell how miserable he was…"_

_Casey smiled tenderly at him, as she mouthed him "I knew you'd come back to me."_

"_Smerek is in love!" Marti cheered as her elder brother scooped her up into his arms._

"_Gosh, this is so not happening." George stood up from his chair as he walked over to face his ex wife. "Abby, to me he could've acted lovesick for as much as he'd wanted, she's still his stepsister. It's wrong. It's against all morals. It's totally…"_

"_The exact same thing you and Nora did." Abby sternly said, raising her voice "I'm sorry I'm saying this in front of the kids, but you brought this up on yourself, George. Do you really think that cheating on me while we were still married was any less wrong than this? Seriously? Sneaking around behind MY back was against all morals too, especially if you think of the fact that it also ended up envolving our kids."_

_George was taken aback, his gaze rapidly searching Nora's, who was instead looking down in shame._

"_I could've stopped you, George. I could've refused to give divorce, it sure would've messed things up a bit with you two. But in that case, you and Nora would've still loved each other kept your secret affair going just as much as Derek would've done anything to get back here to be with Casey. And plus look around yourself, George. You are all a lovely family now. If I had held you back, none of this would be real now. Sometimes something wrong can actually give birth to something good. Let them have their chance at that."_

**A.N: OK, guys. This was it for chpt 6!**

**I'm sorry I have kind of cast a shadow over George and Nora's past… but hey, they're only human…**

**Once again thank you so much to those who keep reviewing or simply reading this story. You guys mean the world to me. **

**Here in Italy it's already 2014 and there's this weird tv show my mother's watching that is basically about random singers singing their songs until midnight strikes and now there's this band on, performing 'you're simply the best' by tina turner. So I thought it would've been funny to dedicate this song to my reviewers and followers :D**

**I also wanted to make sure I wouldn't forget to tell you to go have a look at my favorite LwD fanfiction, it's called Forever by uponthemirrorglass. It's really old and definitely supersad but it's truly amazing, get ready for the tears! If you're enjoying this story, you will totally fall in love with that one, too. It's a one shot, but it's really worth it, I swear!**

**Well, so, happy new year folks, love ya!**

**Chpt 7 will be up asap. **

**xoxoxo**


	7. Chapter 7

**Day 70.**

It was one of Casey's last visits at home before getting started with her third round of chemo. She was sitting in the passenger seat as Derek was driving all the way back to London.

"Der…" she began, nestling her face in the seat cushion, feeling drowsy once more.

"Yeah, babe?" he briefly turned his head to glance at her, then quickly moved it back to look at the cars ahead of him, his hands pressed tightly onto the steering wheel. "C'mon, guys, we ain't got all day here!" he frustratingly sighed out as he saw the traffic jam his car got stuck into.

"Honey… I thought all of this had taught you not to worry that much about time anymore…" she gently said, her hand reaching out to graze his jawline.

Derek's features tightened, as he understood where she meant.

"I don't know about you, but… just sitting here in the car, having the chance to look out of the window and see all these fields around the highway… and I got to sit next to you, and you look _tremendously _sexy when you're driving. I don't know, but I guess this just really makes my day pretty much already. Hey, see? One moment can _make _one day if you live through it in the right way." She genuinely smiled, her gaze wandering over Derek's manly face.

He turned around to glance at her once more. Her bright blue eyes were piercing his and all he could think about was how much he felt loved at that exact same moment.

"Is this the part where you start giving people life lessons about what you've learned back at the hospital?" He chuckled nervously, but she could easily see right through him anyway, and so she just knew that he simply wasn't ready for this yet. Typical Derek, never keeping serious for too long whenever the subject would make him feel uncomfortable.

Casey kept smiling, not wanting to ruin the moment. She leaned over to give him a quick peck on the cheek.

"Case, don't get too close, you could get some inf…"

"Infinite love? I guess I'm willing to take that risk…"

He finally smiled back at her last comment, as the traffic jam began to dissolve.

Twenty minutes later they finally got to the Venturi household. As they rang the doorbell and Edwin ushered them in, Derek was immediately surprised to see how all the lights in the living room were off.

"Oh no, Ed" he complained, immediately taking a grip of Casey's hand "don't tell me Dad forgot to pay for the bill again…"

"Surprise!" The lights suddenly went on, as Derek could finally see what they had been up to. The whole family had gathered in the living room, where a 'happy birthday' banner was hanging from the ceiling. There sat a few food trays along with some drinks on the dining table, although Derek's gaze immediately rushed over the huge chocolate frosted cake on the middle of it.

"Happy 22nd birthday Smerek!" cheered Marti as she ran up towards him, waiting for the young man to scoop her up in his arms. Unfortunately, Derek was too tired to lift up his now almost 10 year old sister off the ground, and simply leaned down to pull her into a tight hug.

"Guys" he was still looking around himself in awe, his nose buried into the crook of the little girl's neck "Why did you do all of this! Even I had forgot about my own birthday!"

"Don't look at us" smiled Lizzie. "It was Casey's idea."

He promptly turned around to where she was still standing in the foyer, her eyes watering as she saw how happy he looked. "You're getting old, you sexy man."

He gently freed himself from Marti's grip and walked up to her. His gorgeous stepsister had never looked more beautiful to him. She still had a few bald patches in the stubble that was slowly beginning to grow back on her head, and her legs were scarily thin as she was wearing her old black leggings. Casey could feel his eyes on her and she tried to adjust her hoodie in an attempt to hide the chemo IV port that was showing beneath it a bit lower than her collarbone. Nonetheless, he simply leaned down on her to to get her into a full, passionate kiss.

"There you go with the infinite love. Come back soon for more, beautiful". He whispered into her ear as he escorted her to the living room, joining the others and letting the party begin.

Half an hour late most of the food was already gone and Casey also got to have a taste of the cake, whereas her boyfriend almost finished all of it by himself, since he hadn't been eating properly in the last couple of months. They were all on the couch, while Derek was sitting back in his old recliner with Casey on his lap. He tried to pretend not to notice how light she felt on his legs, and decided to just enjoy himself as he started opening his presents. Edwin and Lizzie got him a comic book, whereas Marti had used all her savings to give him the most beautiful birthday card he had ever seen, with tons of "I love my big brother" 's written all over it, along with a couple of fake plane tickets to France she had drawn herself. "So that when Casey won't be sick anymore you can take her there." She had added. Nora and George got him a new tablet computer, figuring it would've come in handy for the time he would've been spending at the hospital.

When everyone was done giving him their presents, Casey motioned Lizzie to go fetch her something from the kitchen.

"You know Derek, I really wanted to give you something meaningful, but the only gift shop me and Lizzie could find in the hospital was a toy store for the pediatric patients. So I hoped you would've liked this anyways" Casey simply said as Lizzie came back from the kitchen, handing a small light blue gift box to him.

He expectantly opened it, a wide smile spreading across his face as he finally saw what was inside. A small Spirit stuffed horse toy.

**Day 81.**

Casey's very short hair slowly began to fall out again as she went on with her third cycle of treatment. She hadn't been vomiting as much as she had been during her previous two rounds of chemo, but this time her body was already extremely weak from the very start, and although the pain had definitely decreased, she couldn't get out of bed anymore, feeling as if she was running on empty if she ever did so.

Despite her resistance to that, Derek had decided to give up their apartment in Kingston and resigned from college, at least for the time being, since he was wide aware of the fact that Nora and George couldn't afford both his college expenses and her hospital bills anymore.

That day he was sitting by her bed in her room at the hospital when he caught Casey sadly smiling at him for apparently no reason.

"What is it, Case?

"I just don't wanna fall asleep again, Derek. I'm kind of tired of all this drowsiness."

"It won't last long. You'll be done with the chemo shots in two weeks."

She kept smiling to herself, closing her eyes as she felt his fingers gently grazing her cheeks.

"I wish I could make love to you again. Just one more time, you know."

Derek frowned, a pained expression appearing on his face. "There'll be plenty of time for that when you get outta here. And anyways, my buddy down there misses you too." He let out a small, nervous laugh, visibly shaking.

She opened her eyes back to stare at him. "You just can't be serious when it comes to this, can you?"

His fake smile dissolved from his face as he turned his head to look out of the window, as sunlight was beaming through it. "Case, I just don't see the point in discussing it when you're slowly getting better anyway. You heard what Doctor Welsh said yesterday."

"Yeah I know, Derek. But you don't have to wait for things to necessarily take a turn for the worst to start thinking about how the world can still keep turning even without you in it. It's gonna happen to everybody sooner or later, you know."

"But… Case, look: everything's getting just all green and beautiful out there" he sighed as he motioned her to follow his gaze out of the window too.

"Well, Derek, it's called spring."

"You know what I mean. The world does keep turning no matter what, but it does in a certain way so that somehow it's always constantly ever so beautiful. I… just how could the sky and everything just keep being so… without you, I… oh gosh, please, don't make me sound cheesy. All I know is… you're not leaving yet. I don't care if you have cancer, heck, that pot over there has been empty for months and now look at how many daisies there are in it! Oh boy, I sound like an overemotional chick flick…" Derek buried his head into his hands in shame, not knowing what else to say exactly. "Case, you can't be leaving right now, ok? You still have so much to give to the world… it needs you, Case. Just as much as I do. And trust me, that's a whole lot."

"Derek…"

"Sometimes I just think you should've just said yes to me that night."

_They finally collapsed onto the bed, their exhausted body sticky with sweat as they were lying there naked, her head resting upon his chest._

"_Case…"_

_She looked up at him. "Yeah, Der. You definitely outdid yourself this time…" she grinned as she began to kiss his earlobe._

_He chuckled lightly. "No, I wasn't thinking about that, actually. Well, something that has to do with it, though. You know, uhm, I don't know how to say this, but… just, what if we stopped?"_

"_Stopped WHAT, exactly?"_

_He let out a laugh at how worried she'd sounded. "I meant, what if we stopped using condoms."_

"_Oh, no, Derek, I'm not going to start being on the pill. I don't want my hormones to be messed up by…"_

"_No, Case…" he quickly cut her off with a swift kiss. "I Know it might sound crazy, 'cause we're still young and all, but I've been coming up with this strange idea lately… ever since my teacher offered me that job as a hockey coach. I mean, we could finally settle down for real." He rolled over so that he was supporting himself on his elbows, as he deeply stared into her eyes. "Case, what if I told you I wanted to start a family on our own right away?"_

"_I'd think you'd lost your mind."_

**A.N. Happy new year everyone!**

**Thanks for still reviewing and following this fic! I REALLY appreciate your support and couldn't even begin to express how grateful I am for it. ^_^**

**To theonceanonymous14: Aw, Thank you I live in the south, in a small town near Bari (Apulia). You know, no offense, but I've always thought it was funny how everybody thinks living in Italy is so cool whereas except for the big famous historical cities such as Rome, Milan, Florence and so on, there's really NOTHING to do when you're stuck in a small town. :( Everybody my age (18) just wants to get the hell outta here as soon as they get to be off to university… :c **

**Well, anyways, guys, keep following this story for the next chapter will be updated soon.**

**Voglio a tutti voi un mondo di bene, non smettete di commentare! ****^_^ (=love all of you so much, keep reviewing)**

**Daniela. 3 **


	8. Chapter 8

**Day 115.**

Derek couldn't believe that he and Casey had spent almost four months at the hospital and that she was already done with her third round of chemo. Her hair was beginning to grow back again once more, and she had also slightly begun to put on some weight. Doctor Welsh had officially stated he was definitely surprised at how good Casey was reacting to the treatments, and was currently waiting very expectantly for the results of her latest bone marrow biopsy.

That day, Casey and Lizzie were taking a walk around the hospital garden. Despite the weather being relatively warm already, Casey was still wearing a sweat shirt because she'd just get cold so easily. The two of them sat on a bench beneath a pine tree, as the sun was quietly setting behind the wooded hills outside the hospital.

"You know, I really love your Beatles cap, it's so cool!"

"Thanks, Liz. It was a present from Derek, he gave it to me when he took me to that Paul McCartney concert. I like it very much too."

Lizzie smiled. "You know Case, I've never seen anyone being more in love than he is with you." She paused for a second, looking down in shame. "When you guys first got together, I remember secretly being so jealous of you two having that kind of star-crossed beautiful romance. When I was younger I actually thought people were taking pleasure in me living in your shadow. Come on, Case, let's be honest here, you've always been the prettier, funnier, smarter one of us, and I could still keep listing you tons of good qualities you possess that I don't…"

"Aw, Lizzie, come on, you know…"

"No, no, don't worry, that's not the point. I came to terms with that a long time ago, and I'm actually ok with who I am right now. You know, it's just that I'm graduating in a little more than a month, and last night I was thinking that this is kind of the time when people finally start to really define their lives… they turn 18, they fall in love for real and they go off to college, living on their own and stuff. Just showing the world how good they are. And so I was just… I'm scared, Case. You see, that's the difference between you and me. I'm scared about simply moving to a college dorm and I'm whining like a baby about it while I've never seen you complain about how scared you may be because of… you know … this."

"Liz…" Casey gently began to stroke her little sister's hair. Lizzie had got even more beautiful to her eyes over the last few months, probably because she looked ever so lively. "I'm no super hero, honey. That's the thing. I _was_ scared. Still am actually, and will constantly be until the very moment I leave this hospital for good. It's just that…"

"Yeah, but Case, yours is a _major _problem for you to be worried for. As for me, instead, it's so selfish that I'm even just telling you about my stupid fears when you're fighting for your life!"

"Liz, no fear is stupid. Being scared means you're smart enough to understand how life is never an easy game at all, you know. It's ok to be afraid sometimes, even if it's just because of little things or small changes. It just… you know, fear has kind of become my evil companion ever since I got here, and I can honestly say it some sort of helps compelling you to keep going. I know moving to college seems like a huge step you might not be ready for right now, but I swear to you, everything always works out just fine in the long run. You _will _show the world how great you are. Everybody has potential. And…"

"No, Case…" Lizzie suddenly spoke up, her gaze locking with her sister's as she took her hands into hers "I'll never be half as great as you are. Heck, if I were in your shoes right now I couldn't care less about making sure my sister adjusted to college life when I myself would be fighting cancer! You're always so…"

"In fact…" Casey sternly interrupted her "I _don't _actually give a thing about you going off to college. But I _do _care about helping you out in any possible way I can. Because I love you. And I know that love can help even without actually being able to really fix things up and get rid of your fears. Derek is just living proof to that. He's not killing a single white cell in my body but he's still helping me way much more than any other treatment. I'm still scared, trust me… I'm _so_ scared. But I know that no matter what, every road I'll take will always lead back to him. And that means everything will always end up being ok for me."

Lizzie kept staring deeply at her, tears threatening to spill over. "I wish I could find that kind of love… It must be so beautiful."

"But you already got it, Liz. Our family loves you so much. They'd be doing the same for you as Derek did for me if you were in my situation. Liz, love is mostly everywhere, you just have to… Oh gosh, Derek's right. Spending too much time in this hospital really makes you sound like a pathetic chick flick after a while!"

They both stifled out a little laugh. The sun had finally disappeared from the horizon and it was really getting dark. A soft, warm breeze was blowing across their faces as the sweet scent from the pine tree washed over them. Casey could feel herself getting tired as she sat there, and would've wanted to just lie back down on her bed again, but she was determined to get through this conversation with her sister. "Speaking of chick flicks" She hinted "What's his name?"

Lizzie visibly blushed, giving her a puzzled look. "What?"

"The guy you've been daydreaming about, lately. Don't tell me you thought I hadn't noticed." She smiled subtly.

Lizzie laughed as she let out a sigh, finally giving in. "Ricky. He's one of my friends' brother. We've been going out for a couple of dates so far. He's just… I really hope he could be the one, Case. Like, my own Derek."

Casey smiled, pulling her into a weak hug as she could feel her strength dying out. As she pulled back, she she reached behind her neck to unlock her necklace, only to place it into her sister's hands.

"Case, what are you…"

"Sh… I want you to keep this."

"I can't! It's the one Derek gave you to always remember him by…"

"No Liz, unfortunately, it's just an object." She simply smiled as she grazed the other girl's cheek. "As much as I love it, I'm totally aware of the fact that I'll never need a silver chain to remind myself of what I feel for him, just as much as me giving this to you will never be enough to express you how much I love you. I'm only giving you this as a symbol of hope. Of all the hopes I have for you. See? The pendant is shaped as a sun. And the sun will always rise again, you'll see. Anytime you'll be scared, just think of this, think of how all the hopes and all the love I have for you are way much more bigger than anything. And plus you'll always have your big sister out there to look out for you..." she grinned as she pulled Lizzie back into another hug, burying her face into her neck as she tried to hide the tears that were forming into her eyes.

When the two of them finally got back into the hospital and headed up to her room, they saw Derek running from the doorway towards them, only to lift Casey's small form up from the ground, swaying her around as his smirk grew even wider. "Babe! You did it! Your white count is finally low enough! Case, you're in remission!"

"What… oh my God…" she burst into tears as she simply began feeling too overwhelmed, vaguely registering his lips crushing onto hers.

**Day 151.**

"Come on everyone, get a move or we're gonna be late for the ceremony!" George yelled as he checked his watch. It was Lizzie and Edwin's graduation and the family was getting ready for it. Lizzie was rehearsing her valedictorian speech in her room and Nora was helping Marti to pick out the right outfit.

Derek was pacing back and forth in his old room, still fidgeting nervously with the small, velvet box in his hands. "Ed, leaving alone the fact that I'll also be looking so dumb wearing this stupid tux when I ask her, how in the world am I ever not going to make it sound as if I was only proposing to her just because she beat cancer? It's all gonna look so freaking pathetic…"

Edwin was sitting on his brother's bed, chuckling. "Der, I think you've already made it quite clear that you've always loved the girl that very much anyway. And the only thing pathetic here is that you're rehearsing your proposal with _me, _bro! We should really get a grip here. And plus, I'd really like to actually make it in time for my graduation ceremony, and I'll never be able to do that unless your girlfriend gets out of the DAMN BATHROOM!" the young dark haired boy sighed out in frustration, shouting the last part.

Derek and Casey had gone back to live with the rest of the family again ever since she had definitely left the hospital a month prior. They were waiting for August to come so that they could move to Kingston once more and start going back to college, although she would've still had to go back to the hospital for her routine checks quite often. Casey had decided that the two of them would both be sleeping in Derek's old room, and they had been doing so ever since.

"_Case…" he whispered in the darkness, wrapping his arms around her waist as they were lying on his old bed. He let one of his hands wander around the sharp edge of her hip bone as he tried to pull up her nightshirt. She silently moaned as she felt his lips trail small pecks on her earlobe. "Oh, Derek…"_

"_Sh, it's alright. Doctor Welsh said it's ok."_

"_Oh my gosh! Don't tell me you really asked him about this!" she hissed, as he promptly silenced her with a swift kiss, hoping nobody had woken up at the sound of her voice. _

"_Of course." He smirked, proud of himself. "He just told me not to be too rough." He leaned over her once more to let his lips graze the soft skin on her neck. "Case, you have no idea of how much I've been waiting for this moment…"_

"_Derek, wait…" she trailed him off, despite finding herself enjoying the moment "I know you're gonna say that you just don't care, but… Derek, I don't think I can. Sorry. But I really feel disgusted with myself. My hair is still shorter than a GI soldier's, and I'm just so freaking skinny… Come on Der, I still got IV ports and creepy dark veins all over my body…"_

_He let out a deep breath as he brought her closer, his lips pressing onto her forehead. "I thought I had already said that I only ever made love to you, not to your body, actually. And plus… weren't you the one who had been telling me about how great moments can make a day? Let's make a day right now Case. Who cares if you're not exactly that much sexy yet according to normal standards… You still look gorgeous to me. And I don't know about you, but I think even just getting the chance to just be lying here together at home is kind of enough to make this a great moment."_

_She smiled as she pulled him into a full-blown, passionate kiss. "Let's make this day then, Derek…"_

Casey was standing in front of the mirror, trying to apply her mascara. As she was done, she began to slowly take a look at herself. Her hair was almost an inch long now, and the dark circles around her eyes had slowly started to fade, her skin looking less pale as she was wearing a short silky red dress.

She smiled satisfyingly at her reflection in the mirror. There had been days where she would honestly fear she was never going to make it to see Lizzie's graduation. And yet there she was. Her bright blue eyes shining just like they used to as she saw how she was starting to get her curves back.

Spring was coming to an end. She turned to the bathroom window, only to see a warm breeze was sifting through the leaves of the trees in the backyard. The sunlight was blinding as she blinked a couple of times. Her thoughts suddenly faded in her mind and she felt her whole body become ever so light, as she contemplated the wonderful sight that was right before her eyes.

"_I'm just so glad I'm still here, Derek. I would've hated having to leave this beautiful world all so soon." She simply smiled as she got down on her knees to have a look at the purple foxgloves her mother had been growing in a pot on the front porch. _

"Casey? You done in there? Come on, Casey, it's late… gosh, getting to use the bathroom used be so much easier when it was only us younger kids…"

"Just one moment, Ed" she breathed out, surprised at how feeble her voice had sounded to her ears.

She slowly turned over, glancing down as she saw her dress was stained all over the place. "What…" she trembled as she looked up in a swift motion, causing some more blood to sputter on the mirror as she tilted her head upwards.

"No… no, please… no… Derek…" she tried to reach for the doorknob as she passed out on the floor.

**A.N. And that was the end of chapter 8, guys, hope you liked it.**

**Once again, THANK YOU SO MUCH to those who still keep reading and reviewing this story. I've said this once and I'm gonna say it again: you're the best guys ^_^**

**I know this is kind of a cliff hanger but don't worry, chpt 9 will be posted sooner than you think. **

**Keep reviewing and you'll make my day 3**


	9. Chapter 9

**Day 152**.

"Derek... unfortunately this is what we call a _primary induction failure, _meaning the patient fails to achieve a _complete_ remission of their cancer following several courses of remission induction chemotherapy. This relapse occurs when the disease becomes refractory to the drugs previously used, and therefore any subsequent treatment with chemotherapy would remotely be effective, causing the patient to be more likely to have a poor overall outcome…"

Derek nodded absent-mindedly. He just couldn't bring himself to actually focus on Doctor Welsh's words. His gaze was wandering up the round, colorful glass paperweight on the doctor's desk. "Are those foxgloves?"

"What ?"

"The flowers painted on that paperweight. They're supposed to be foxgloves, right?"

Doctor Welsh looked taken aback at the question. "Uh, Derek, have you been listening to…"

"You just never took your time to have a look at that thing, did you? Nobody cares about such small things."

The man just kept staring at Derek, his body tensing as he was feeling very uncomfortable with the whole situation. His gaze began to nervously wander around the room before eventually settling down to the younger's face once more. The boy's ruffled chestnut hair was casting a slight shadow over his frowned forehead, his lifeless eyes looking down to his feet as he sat motionless, showing no clear sign of emotion.

"Derek" the doctor hesitantly began "Do you think you could listen to me for a moment, please?"

"I am listening."

The man cleared his throat, unsure of the other's answer. "Uhm, well, so, as I was saying… Getting on to another cycle of chemo is not exactly an option, so I suggest we just start getting her ready for a bone marrow transplant."

Derek's face immediately brightened up as he could feel hope rising within him once again. "What? Really? So there's actually…"

"Yes, Derek, there is still this _last_ chance she might finally beat cancer for good, technically. But we need to find a donor first and…"

"ME!" he jumped out of the chair, still not believing his ears "Please, let that be me!"

"Derek" the doctor quietly motioned him to sit back down, not wanting his excitement to get the better of him. "It's not that easy. It's really hard to find a compatible match for an allogeneic transplant. We really don't want her to possibly reject it."

"Ok, but come on, there has to be a person out there that could save her…"

"Ideal donors are usually siblings that share certain genetic features with the patient, but they could just also be relatives or even non related people…"

"Ok, ok, well, she's got a sister, then there's her mother… and even the rest of us, we could all…"

"Alright, alright, Derek, we'll start running tests on all family members to determine if there's any chance of hematopoietic stem cells compatibility. In the meantime we'll start getting her prepared for the transplant by having her undergo Total Body Irradiation. That's basically radiation therapy given to the whole body to destroy as many cancer cells as possible in her scar tissue, brain and spine, so that…"

"Doctor Welsh?" Derek feebly cut him off, a weak smile creeping up across his face.

"Yes, Derek…" the man slowly nodded, silently waiting for his question to follow.

"Can I, uhm… can I just hug you for a sec, or can you just pat my shoulder or something, 'cause I really need…"

This time it was the doctor's turn to cut him off, promptly pulling him into a tight hug.

**Day 153.**

Derek was still rubbing the crook of his arm where they had been taking his blood sample from as he headed back towards Casey's new hospital room, only to find Marti sitting on the bed, keeping her stepsister company as the nurses were still taking blood tests on the rest of the family in the next room.

"Smerek!" she happily yelled out as she stood up to greet him.

"Hey Smarti, hi Case…"

"Smerek, now that you're here, can you stay with Casey so I can go see Edwin shriek like a girl as they put the needle into his arm?"

Derek let out a small laugh. "Sure thing, Smarti."

"Bye Casey, bye Smerek!"

As they were left alone in the room, he took place to sit on the bed beside her, leaning down for a kiss. "Hey beautiful…" he murmured against her lips.

"Hi Der…" she whispered back, a soft smile quivering at the corners of her mouth. "Something tells me I definitely ruined the kids' graduation…"

He frowned. "Babe, no, don't even worry about that… Ed and Liz are just…"

"I'm sorry it's back, Der. I was really starting to think I had actually made it…"

He let out a shaky breath as he was trying really hard not to let his eyes get watery. "Yeah babe, me too. But this time they're gonna get rid of it for good. Trust me, the transplant will work."

She sighed heavily as she began to graze his cheek with the tips of her delicate fingers, the light stubble on his jaw causing her to giggle for a moment, until she frowned once more. "Derek, I don't want this to cause so much trouble on you guys, too. It's not fair. It's _my_ cancer, why do all of you have to go through this?"

"Case, what are you talking about! Everybody just really wants to help, they're so glad they could possibly have a chance at being able to save your life. It's just a few blood samples…"

"Yeah but what about after they find the right match? One of you will have to get their bone marrow aspirated from their hip by a fucking needle! And all because of me! Do you have any idea of how much that…"

"Case, come on, please… just why can't you just see this is exactly what _you _would do if anyone else of us was in your shoes?"

She let out another sigh as she could feel frustration build up within her. He followed his gaze as she turned over to look out of the window. "Hey, it's a shame there's no flower pot on the sill here, isn't it?"

She nodded absent- mindedly as she reached out to clutch his hand, her eyes still not willing to meet his yet.

He nervously fidgeted with his fingers, unsure of what to say next. "So, uhm… what have you and Marti been up to in my absence?"

"Nothing, Derek, she was just telling me about how she won her school's spelling competition."

"_J-E-O-P-A-R-D-I-Z-E. And with that I … Case! Case, are you listening to me?"_

_Lying back on the pillow, she shook her head, coming back to her senses and focusing on the little girl standing in front of her. "Yeah, Marti. Sorry. I'm really proud of you for winning that spelling competition."_

"_Thanks" She smiled for a few seconds, before narrowing her eyebrows in a frown. "Case…?"_

"_Yeah, sweetie?"_

"_I'm sorry you're not ok, yet. And I'm sorry I have to see Derek so sad and tired all the time. He loves you so much, Casey, you're his princess."_

_Casey gave her a soft smile as she tried her best to hide all the sadness in her heart. "Marti, honey, will you promise me something, please?"_

"_Anything …"_

"_I know you're old enough to understand why everybody is so scared for me…"_

_The little girl looked down to her feet as tears formed into her eyes, although she had promised Lizzie she would've always stayed strong in front of Casey. "'Cause you might die…"_

_Casey took a deep breath as she heard those blunt words being so innocently spoken. "Yes, Marti, there's a chance that could happen."_

"_But you can't leave Derek, Casey… everybody needs you. Remember when you told me you always have to believe in yourself if you want to succeed in anything? Come on, Case, you just have to keep thinking you can do this! Derek…"_

_She stifled a little laugh, sadly amused by the little girl's naivety. "Marti, sometimes it's just not that easy…" she looked down to her hands as she tried to compose herself, feeling herself on the verge of tears. "Sometimes all you can do is just sit back and hope for the best to come. And that's what I'm doing right now. But I also want to make sure all of you guys would still find a way to be ok again even if I did end up leaving. That's why I asked you to promise me a few things."_

_Marti silently nodded, waiting for her to continue. _

"_I want you to take good care of Derek for me. You're the only one who could always see him through. Be ready to give him tons of hugs even if he says he doesn't need any help. You know he likes acting strong all the time, but I tell you, in the very end he's always gonna need his little Smarti…" she sniffled, trying to hold back the tears that were already beginning to fall down her cheeks anyway as she paused for a second. _

"_Casey, I…"_

"_And Marti, one more thing: I know everybody could start thinking I'd be gone forever, but please tell them that wouldn't be true. Tell them that I would still find a way to be near them wherever they may go. Marti, do you remember that movie we used to watch all together, 'Spirit'?"_

"_Stallion of the Cimarron!" Marti fiercely exclaimed as she smiled at the memory. _

"_Remember how the eagle would keep following Spirit everywhere he'd go, even when he was scared or in trouble? And how it would always still lead him back to his homeland? Well, tell Derek I'll always be his eagle …" _

Marti was bouncing up and down, as George was trying to no avail to keep her quiet as he sat there, a nurse inserting a needle into his arm to take his blood sample.

"It's not fair! I want to see if I can help Casey too. I. WANT. TO TAKE. A BLOOD TEST. TOO!" She cried out in protest as she kept stomping her feet.

"Dad. Please, just make her stop. My head is throbbing…" Edwin sighed out, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand.

"Marti, please, just stop it. You're not a baby anymore. I told you you're too young to be doing this. And plus there's a very slim chance…"

"I. DON'T. CARE! LET ME JUST TRY TO HELP!" She yelled out as she suddenly stretched her arms outwards, hitting the nurse in the eye and causing her to jerk the needle out of George's arm in the middle of the procedure.

"Marti! Now look what you've done!" Nora cried out in despair, having run out of patience. She got up to lean over a visibly irritated George, whispering into his ear "Honey, it's just a blood test. Let her take it and believe for a moment she could possibly save Casey. We all know she'll never be able to anyway, the chances are just too low as she's not blood related to her. But at least Marti will be proud of herself and won't feel like she didn't try to help in case… well, you know, in case anything goes wrong."

**Day 155**

"I'm so happy to tell you that we did find a match among all the possible donors!" Doctor Welsh proudly announced as he motioned Derek to sit down with him at his desk.

The young man couldn't believe to his ears. Even just the idea of him possibly saving her life just looked so thrilling to him. Hope was all he could cling to at the moment and he was determined not to let go. "Really? Oh man… Is it me?"

Doctor Welsh shook his head. "It's her younger sister."

"Oh, well, it's still great… the only thing that matters here is that she's going to be ok now…" Derek slowly nodded to himself. "Does Lizzie know already?"

"Uh, Derek…" Doctor Welsh hesitantly began "I think that's not the person I was referring to."

The boy gave him a questioning look, a puzzled expression appearing on his face. "What… what do you mean?"

"I'm afraid Marti Venturi is the only right match. I know she's just a kid, but transplants from young donors are more likely to be successful, and…"

"No, no, no…" Derek trailed him off, shaking his head violently as he stood up from his chair, starting to pace back and forth around the room. "No way I'm having my little sister go through this. There has to be some…"

"Derek! Finding any other possible unrelated donor outside your family would be a very lengthy process and honestly, Casey's running out of time, here… you have to make a choice. Well, your parents have to, actually."

Derek felt his legs give out him as he let himself collapse back onto the chair again, those words painfully sinking in. He slowly turned his head to glance at his whole family waiting for him in the corridor, right outside the door that had been left open. They were staring worriedly at him as they still had no clue to what Doctor Welsh had just told him.

"But… she's my…"

"I've seen younger donors, if that could possibly make you feel any better."

He let his gaze meet Marti's from afar. Her big, bright eyes were expectantly staring at him, a small smile on her face as she waved his hand at him.

"_For the first time in my life, I felt my heart torn two ways…"_

"_Aw, Derek…" she snuggled closer to him as she felt herself getting emotional again, the both of them lying on the couch in front of the TV. "Did you hear that? Poor Spirit…he has to choose between the ones he loves and going back to the one place where he belongs …"_

"Will… will the procedure be painful for her?"

"Uhm… it's basically the same we performed every time Casey took a bone marrow biopsy…"

"Oh my God…"

**A.N: And that's the end of chpt 9!**

**I know writing it took me more time than usual but I had to figure out a bunch of medical stuff for Casey's new form of treatment…**

**I'll never stop thanking you SO MUCH for reviewing and following this story, keep doing that guys, please! This is getting longer than I initially thought, and yet I still have to make up my mind about how I'm gonna make this end…**

**Still, I'm sure your wonderful support will get me compelled to keep it going!**

**I already started to write chpt 10, so… you won't have to wait too long for it!**

**Review, please **


	10. Chapter 10

**Day 154.**

"Dad, we can't just sit here and wait. You must take a decision."

Derek sat down beside George and Nora on a bench in the hospital garden, while the younger kids were in Casey's room to keep her company. Deep the fact that it was almost summertime, dark grey clouds covered the sky, completely hiding the sun, and the smell of rain was in the air as a damp, cool wind was blowing from the north.

George felt as if someone was slowly driving a knife into an already open wound. The whole night before that day had been sleepless for him, to the point where he just ended up lying wide awake in bed with Nora, the two of them going through old family photo albums until the break of dawn. He simply couldn't keep himself from thinking how painfully absurd their lives had slowly become over the past few months. His wife had been nothing but an emotional wreck ever since her daughter's diagnosis and he could tell she was beginning to cope with all the growing sadness within her by slowly withdrawing from the real world, as he had caught her spacing out in a daze plenty of times, lately. Deep down he knew she would only be lost in her memories from when Casey was her perfect teenage daughter still living in the same house with them, back when their world hadn't got turned upside down yet.

"Son…" George sighed out in despair, his breathing heavy and deep. "You can't ask me this... It's my baby girl we're talking about… she's only ten… it just can't be…" he burst into tears as Nora put a reassuring arm around his shoulders.

"Don't you think it pains me too to think she might have to go through that?" Derek stood up, visibly in rage as he felt himself break down once more, his skin getting flushed. "It kills me. It stabs me in my heart. 'Cause right now I just got to the point where I simply can't take all this suffering anymore. But Dad, if she doesn't do this, Casey will…"

"What if there are complications? What if Marti ends up getting some sort of infection? It's a fucking needle going up into her sternum…"

"Dad! Please, you have to sign that form , I need Casey to…"

"Der…" George sternly cut him off. "Even if she did get the transplant, she could still end up leaving you anywa…"

"Fuck you!" Derek suddenly yelled out at the top of his lungs as his hand nervously ran through his messy hair. "Just fuck you! You just can't help it, uh? Ever since day one, you just… never believed in us, never believed me and Casey were actually meant to be. You never… ever had faith. Well, Dad, I do. I am positive when I tell you she just won't leave me. What we have it's a once in an billion years kind of thing, the world just can't let go of it that easily. It just… she's bound to come back to me, you know. And if you just hadn't gone and held me back for almost three years, I would've just proved you from the very beginning how… man, Dad, sometimes I think I still hate you for that."

"_Son…" George began, as he walked up to him from behind. "What are you doing?"_

_Derek immediately jerked his head away from where he had been staring at for almost ten minutes straight as he was shaken out of his thoughts by his father's words. "Nothing, Dad. It's a stupid wedding, I'm just getting so damn bored…"_

"_It's MY stupid wedding. Mine and that girl's mother's too. You should know what this means…" He threateningly breathed out. _

"_What, now I can't even look at her? You'll have to rip my eyes out then…"_

"_Derek! From this day on, she's officially your sister…"_

"_STEP-sister…"_

"_Ok, you keep thinking about her and I swear I'll send you off to some military boarding school…"_

"Give me the form Derek. And I just hope you're right."

**Day 163.**

Ever since they had finally settled the date of the transplant, Casey had been immediately got started with several sessions of radiotherapy, that were meant to destroy almost all her white cells in her blood, in order to make room for the new ones that were supposed to form following the engraftment of the bone marrow.

During the few days prior to it, since her immune system was being completely shut down, she had to be confined in a sterilized intensive care room, where only medical staff was authorized to get in, as even the slightest infection could've been fatal to her.

Her family could only do as much as stand in front of a window that was placed on the wall beside her bed to just look at her, and let her hear their voices by speaking through an intercom. They had convinced her Lizzie was going to be the donor and they weren't planning to tell her the truth until afterwards.

It was the day before the transplant, and the whole family was helping Marti settle down in her own hospital room for the night, leaving Derek alone with his thoughts as he watched Casey being fast asleep through the window glass.

"_Smerek…" she took his hand, as he was walking down the corridor._

_Derek turned around to give her a weak smile. "Hey Smarti…" he kneeled down so that their faces were on the same level. He was beyond tired, his bloodshot eyes staring lifelessly at her as the little girl cheerfully pinched his cheeks. "I know you're sad you couldn't be the one to save Casey, but …"_

"_Smarti, it's not that I wanted it to necessarily be me. I just didn't want it to be you. You're still… too small to face… these kinds of things…"_

"_No! Don't cry…" she pouted as she reached out to wipe the tears that were straining his cheeks. "It's ok, Smerek! I want to! I want to help! Please… you always save me… Now it's my turn to save you."_

_He stifled a small laugh as he ruffled her hair affectionately. "I _wish _I was the one that needed to be saved. Unfortunately, it's Case…"_

"_No." she promptly cut him off. "It _is _you."_

Casey had just woken up, although it was the middle of the night. Living in an intensive care room was almost like living in an aquarium. She felt like a dormant little fish, floating on space, weightless, no clear sounds to be heard around her as the contours of reality were beginning to fade out gently. She wondered if that was what passing away would've been like. Simply floating away from the life she knew.

Everything pained her as she could feel her whole skin burn due to the radiation therapy treatments she'd been getting. Deep down, as she laid alone in her bed, she could feel herself secretly hoping for all the suffering to be over soon. All the things she thought she had yet to do just seemed so distant now, almost as if they were lost memories from a dream. Graduating from college, starting her own family, having kids… nothing more than mere fractals of hope she had already left behind.

For the very first time in her whole life, thinking of Derek only brought her sadness, recalling how hard he had always fought to keep her there with him instead of simply letting her be and just run free with the eagles on the Rocky Mountains. But at the same time, even though all her other emotions had finally dissolved into dullness, she couldn't deny that she loved him now more than ever. So much it ached. The only thing to be still alive in her soul.

A dormant little fish, floating through the calm waters of time.

"Case…" she suddenly heard his voice echoing throughout the room as he was speaking through the intercom. "Hey baby… I… I guess I just wanted to talk to you, but I ain't really got that much to say though."

The sound of his words made her realize how much she would've missed his voice. She wasn't scared to leave anymore, but she knew saying goodbye to Derek would've been a harder farewell than she'd ever imagined. She felt that she was only afraid of not being there for all the times he would've still needed her. She just wanted him to never be lonely. She had come to terms with slowly growing numb until she could finally leap to the endless blue sky right above the Grand Lake, but still knew the feeling of Derek's touch on her skin was going haunt her forever. At that moment, Casey found herself not willing to ever let go of him once again.

"I know you're scared, Case …it's gonna be ok, though, I know that for sure. I…" his voice was beginning to crack as she could tell he was having a break down.

"I know you've only been in there for five days, but… I miss talking to you, Case. I miss it like crazy. I feel like I'm barely keeping it together anymore.

And I know you did all of this for me… I never brought this up before, but… I know you didn't want to get treatment at first. Nora told me. And I'm… totally aware of the fact that it was so fucking selfish of me… to watch you go through all of this crap just because I… I'm sorry for still thinking it was the right thing for you.

Right now I just hate myself for putting the love of my life through so much pain, but I still can't bear even just the thought of losing her. You know, she's the most perfect human being in the world. And here we go with the cheesiness again, but… I've always thought we were meant to show everybody… to show _the world_ we were living proof people _can_ manage to always find their way to be together in the end. And I know I just wasn't wrong about that. I've never been whenever it came to you, Case. Hey, remember that song we used to…"

She could hear him pause for a few seconds as he was trying to find it in himself to start humming the old tune once more.

"_Now I know it's true, my every road leads to you_

_And in the hour of darkness, your light just gets me through_

_You run like a river, you shine like the sun_

_You fly like an eagle, yeah you are the one…_

_Cause I can't stand the distance, I can't dream alone…_

_I can't wait to see you…"_

Lying back into the pillow, Casey slowly turned her head to the one side mirror glass of the window that was placed on the wall on her left. Deeply staring into her reflection, as she imagined him standing right behind it, she weakly lifted her arm from the bed, as if she was trying to reach out to touch him.

She heard Derek sigh, trying to compose himself. "Don't worry, Case, I'm here all the time, even if you can't see me. I'll just keep standing right here"

As she silently began to sob, she tried her best to mouth her words as clearly as possible. "So will I…"

**Day 164.**

"Baby, it's gonna be alright. Just breathe into the mask, this won't last long". George affectionately stroked his daughter's hair as the anesthetic was beginning to get to her, as he tried really hard to hold back the tears.

"Daddy" he saw the little girl mutter a few other words after that before she drifted to a deep sleep.

Derek was looking at them through the glass on the door to the operating room. "I love you, Smarti." It was the last thing he mouthed to her as he noticed her eyes were staring at him before finally falling shut.

**Day 175.**

"Her blood count is clearly showing that engraftment was achieved successfully, Derek. We're moving her out of intensive care in a few hours."

"I knew we were gonna make it!" Marti cheered happily as she jumped into her brother's arms. "Smerek, see? I saved her for you."

**A.N.= Alright, guys sorry it took me longer than usual to update, but I had to ask my mom (she's a doctor) how the whole preparation for the transplant was like on the recipient and trying to translate it in English was really hard for me. Plus this is what they do here in Italy, I'm not sure they use Total Body Irradiation in Canada too and I'm definitely not sure whether American intensive care units are anything like the ones we have here, where the patients can't see through the room's window and stuff. But anyways I hope the main idea of the whole thing kind of got to you anyway. Keep reviewing guys, I love you so much for still reading and liking this story. 3**

**Chpt 11 will be up soon, as I'm planning to write from 3 to 4 other chapters before putting an end to this.**

**Love you guys and ur awesome support.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Day 176**

It was 3 a.m. when Casey was finally moved to her old room, back in the oncology unit.

"Casey!"

A wide smile appeared on her face the moment she saw Derek on the doorway. She stretched her arms forward, motioning him to hug her as he ran towards her. He almost jumped onto her bed, finally bringing her close, his face buried into the crook of her neck. "Man, I missed you so much…"

"Me too…" she whispered, pulling back from the hug as she let her hand run through her hair. "Oh my gosh, Derek…"

"Yeah, I know, I'm so handsome your eyes hurt…" he chuckled as he saw her eyes were getting watery. "Anyways, the family went home for the night a few hours ago as we all figured they were gonna send you back here first thing in the morning. But I just called them so they're on their way to here." He leaned forward to gently brush her soft cheek with his lips, grazing her jawline with his fingers. That velvet touch made that moment all the more powerful for her. It was real. What she was feeling was finally real again. It was love. All around her, deep within her, eliciting lively sparks throughout all her body. At that very second, she knew she was simply ever so grateful she wasn't sleeping under the sea anymore.

"Casey!" Marti squeaked happily as she burst into the room, followed by the whole family.

"Guys!" Casey greeted as she broke apart from Derek "Gosh, I missed ya so…" she couldn't finish her sentence as Marti jumped onto her bed to hug her. Pulling back, she placed both her hands onto Casey's cheeks, and leaned in to plant a kiss on the tip of her nose. "I knew I could save you!"

Casey was taken aback by the little girl's exclamation, silence filled the room as the rest of the family all exchanged looks, worriedly wondering whether she had caught on to what Marti meant. Lizzie suddenly looked up as she felt her elder sister's stare pierce her thoughts, and as soon as she met her gaze, she knew she had given herself away with that glance.

"Leave me alone with Derek, please."

"Casey, sweety, wait…"

"MOM! LEAVE! NOW! ALL OF YOU!"

The family quickly got out of the room, as Derek began to nervously pace the floor. He knew this moment would've come, sooner or later, just as much as he knew he had pushed it way too far this time.

"_Mom!"_

_The crying little boy ran across the living room to jump into Abby's embrace. "Derek! Honey, what's wrong!" She asked him as his tiny arms wrapped tightly around her neck. _

"_Mommy! I was watching the fox and the hound… and at some point Mrs Tweed left Tod in the woods, and it was so sad! Why did she do that! They were both crying when they had to say goodbye! She loved Tod! Why did she make him cry?"_

_Abby smiled as she ran a hand through her son's honey blonde hair, planting a kiss onto his forehead. "Baby… when you love somebody very much, you feel like you only want the best for them, even if that might hurt you or even the both of you, sometimes. Mrs Tweed was sure heartbroken to leave Tod alone in the woods, and it must've been super hard for her, but she knew it was the right thing to do because that was the place where he belonged. Because Mrs Tweed loved Tod so much she would've done anything so that he could be ok, no matter how painful it could've been for her. That's what love is like, baby… you'll understand one day…"_

"Yeah so I guess I'm the bad man for you now…"

"DEREK! You had MARTI go through a fucking bone marrow aspiration! For Pete's sake, Derek! That's just crossing the line! I can't believe you… she's your… Der…"

"Nonono, please, don't start crying now…"

She tried to keep herself from sobbing harder as she looked up to see him standing still right in front of her bed, although her vision was blurry from all the tears she was shedding. "WHAT THE FUCK! How am I not supposed to cry! Der! I have cancer! I have cancer and my 10 year old, adorable step-sister went through so much pain because of me! Because you just couldn't…"

"COULDN'T WHAT, CASE! COULDN'T WHAT!" he suddenly screamed at her, his skin flushed as he knew he had simply lost it. No turning back. "Couldn't let you die? Is that it? YEAH, Case. I definitely couldn't, for crying out loud! And you wanna know what, Miss Morals? I probably hurt more than you are right now. I was the one that FORCED my Dad to let her do it. I SAW it all. I SAW them pushing that fucking needle up into her chest because her hip bone was too small. I SAW MY SMARTI go through such a fucking hell for me. Yeah, 'cuz guess what? She said she did it for her big, dickhead Smerek. Well, now, I call her Smarti for a reason! She knew it. She knew that even if my heart was TORN IN TWO for all of what I had to put my own little sister through… she knew it was still nothing compared to what I would've felt like if I'd lost you. I might look like the most despicable human being in the world to you right now, but let me tell you Case, loving you has NEVER been easy for me, from the very beginning. But it's the only true thing I have or ever got right in this world. And I won't let it be ripped right out of my hands… No matter at what cost…"

As he finally paused for a moment, her gaze rushed over him. She realized she had spent so much time focusing on the bald patches on her head or any sort of bruises on her body over the last few months, whereas she never really took her time to just have a look at Derek. The stubble on his face was more pronounced, enhancing that his cheekbones were now sticking out, and the bags under his eyes showed how much sleep he had been deprived of, lately. At last, she fully understood how much pain Derek had to go through, himself. And only because he simply couldn't let go. _In sickness and in health_, she thought. He was taking it literally. And at that moment, she knew she could've never let go either.

"Marry me, Derek."

She saw a teardrop stain her nightgown. She looked up to him to see how he had silently begun to cry.

"Right away, princess."

She held him as he kept smiling through the tears, his head buried into her chest.

"I'm holding onto you too, Der. Really tight. Forever, baby. Don't ever forget it."

**Day 184.**

Derek was impatiently waiting for Casey to be admitted out of the hospital, as it was supposed to be only a matter of days. He was sitting beside her on the bed, intently staring out of the window as her gaze was tracing the contours of his face.

"You have quite beautiful features, you know…"

"Come on… you're getting sappy here, Case. Save it for the wedding…"

She chuckled as she turned her head to see Nurse Jackie entering the room. "Alright Derek, I was told you've been looking for me…?"

"Yeah, well, it's basically a stupid thing, it's just that she was getting paranoid over it…"

"I am _not _paranoid!" Casey smacked his arm. "But still…" she turned her head to the middle-aged woman. "What do you think caused this skin rash?" she politely asked as she opened her hands, revealing her reddened palms.

Nurse Jackie sighed, smiling reassuringly. "Oh, sweetie… Don't worry about the smallest things. Just make sure you get the plenty of rest your body is asking for now. And relax as much as you can. That's the key to get out of here in no time. You don't want to make this prince Charming wait down the aisle for you for too long, do you?"

The two of them both let out a small chuckle. "How do you…"

"Please, Casey! The walls have ears here!" she laughed slightly, gently caressing the girl's forehead before ushering herself out of the room.

"See? I told you it was just a rash, baby."

Casey smiled as she let her gaze wander over the peeling skin on her hands once more. She was sure wide aware of the fact that it was still nothing compared to all that she had experienced lately. But she could just feel so close to seeing the light at the end of all she had to go through, that she was not letting it be taken away from her this time.

"Doctor Welsh!" Nurse Jackie called out as she was running down the corridor, towards him.

The man turned around. "Yes? What is it? Any problems…"

"It's Casey" she breathed out as she finally stopped in from of him. "She got rashes."

The doctor tilted his head upwards, reaching out to rub the back of his neck. He sighed deeply and let his eyes fall shut for a moment. "Did you check her temperat…"

"I tried to, but I didn't want to get her worried, so I just touched her forehead, and it did feel kind of hot."

"Well, let's wait for a couple of days, but after that we're getting her checked out for real."

"But… what if…"

"Jackie" he scolded her as he took a hold of her shoulders "She's come way too far to let go now, ok?"

**A.N. Hey guys, sorry it took me soo long to update! But I just had tons of school homework to catch up on and I got back to school so keeping up with writing was really hard for me. I already started writing bits of the next two chpters though, so keep following this story to read more of it as I will be updating soon! **

**Thanks for all the reviews, really! They make my heart melt everytime! *_* Keep posting them! **

**You're the best, guys! Luv ya.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Day 190.**

"Yeah, I got the picture but still... at least the cancer's gone, right?"

"Cancer is not the problem anymore, Derek, I told you. It's Marti's cells."

"It's just rashes. And the fever's just… I don't know, maybe from a small infection, perhaps? You're the doctor, you tell me!"

"I did, Derek, you just won't listen. Trust me, I've had plenty of tests running. Casey _does _have an infection. It's called guest versus host syndrome, and it might occur following allogeneic bone marrow transplants. You see, that's the point. In other transplants, there's the risk the recipient's body doesn't recognize the graft as part of itself and therefore their immune system assaults it. But with bone marrow transplants, it's basically the other way around in case of rejection. The white cells in the graft attack the host body as they…"

"Oh, just come _on_! The transplant was supposed to save her, not kill her! And plus… we're talking about a 10 year old girl's white cells, here. How much aggressive could they possibly be?"

"They multiply, Derek. Very fast. And I'm afraid they're attacking Casey's liver right now, that's why her eyes look kind of yellowish."

Derek let himself collapse onto the chair. He brought his gaze up to give the doctor a questioning look. Bothering his lower lip between his teeth, he still couldn't believe to what he was hearing. "Alright, so… I guess you just have to make those cells see Casey's body is not their enemy, right? Is that it?"

"I wish it was that easy. The thing is we can't even recognize the white cells of the donated bone marrow from Casey's own newly formed ones. Right now all we could do is hope for Casey's body to start fighting back and finally getting those…"

"Hope? Maybe you mean _wait…_ Casey's cancer free now. She's strong and…"

"I'm going to be honest. GVH syndrome is something really tough to be dealing with. But if her kidneys manage to keep functioning for the next two weeks, you better start panicking, 'cause you're going to have a hell of a fighter for a wife, Der."

**Day 193.**

Casey's body was shivering, her whole skin burning from the high fever she was running. Derek noticed she seemed to have lost a considerable amount of weight in just a few days as he hovered over her tiny, restless form, beads of sweat dotting her beautiful face. He sat by the bed, holding her hand while she kept tossing and turning in her delirium. He found himself desperately hoping she could still feel his fingers tightly intertwined with hers despite the acute confusional state she was in.

"Babe, come on… please calm down or the IV will slip out again." He brought her hand up to his lips, and held it there for what seemed to be an eternity. "Casey…"

"Der…" she slowly opened her eyes, looking clearly disorientated as she was finally still. "Der…"

He immediately jumped off his seat to lean over her, pressing his cheek hard on her temple. "I'm here, babe! I'm here! I knew you could hear me!"

"Der…" she slowly turned her head to have a look around the room, realizing where she was. "Der… I missed you… where have you been…"

That was it for him. He felt tears well up in his eyes as he knew he couldn't take anymore. Ever since he had the first glimpse of her beauty, he had promised himself she would've never been lonely anymore. He'd been gravitating around her for as long as he could remember, just like the earth around the sun, for his own planet would just be bound to be so damn cold without the bright daylight of hers. After all, she _had_ been _his sun _ever since they'd crossed paths. And now the only thought of her possibly feeling alone in such a horrible situation was killing the very few remains of pounding life in his veins.

He simply broke down. For the first time since her diagnosis, he let himself senselessly cry his eyes out in front of her, fooling himself that she was just too delirious to fully register anything going on around her.

"I'm here, baby… I've never left your side, I… I swear… I love you… I've always been here…"

"Der" she sounded exhausted as she could vaguely feel herself drift off to her restless sleep again. "Do you think it's gonna be all white?" she merely whispered as her eyes fell shut once more.

Derek let out a shaky breath, kissing her forehead and cupping the side of her neck with his hand, holding onto her for dear life. "I think it'll be al RIGHT, actually. You'll see babe"

"_**Derek!"**_

_**She happily ran across the street as she spotted him through the window glass of the coffee house in front of her. He and Sam were sitting at a small table inside, sipping hot chocolate as they were laughing with each other. Derek's wavy hair fell casually across his forehead and his cheekbones were sticking out with a taunting smile as his friend was talking to him. He simply looked so at ease, so happy it almost moved her to tears. She was so delighted to see him finally enjoying himself with someone who would've always been there for him anyway. **_

_**Casey got closer to the window, now only a thin layer of glass separating them as she started tapping on the window. "Der" she laughed out. "Der-ek! Der!"**_

_**He didn't turn over to look at her, and kept talking with Sam, although his smile had vanished as a pained expression had rushed over his face. **_

"_**Der!" Casey frantically tapped both her hand on the glass as she tried to catch his attention. "Der! I'm here! Can't you hear me!"**_

_**Derek tentatively reached out to pull his friend into a hug, as she could see his shoulders rising up and down with his sobbing. The glass of the window was starting to slowly turn duller right beneath her hands, to the point she wasn't able to see through it anymore.**_

"_**Derek! Derek! Where's the door? I need to get in! Please! Anyone, help me!" she fell to her knees as she saw the coffee house had no entrance and the street around her was diserted.**_

"How's she doing?" Casey could hear Lizzie ask.

"I don't know, Liz. She's been like this for three days, the fever's still high… I miss her eyes, Liz. But one week's gone already and her kidneys are still working…"

_**She could feel herself floating in the sea. Her face was just an inch from the surface of the water as gracious clownfish were prancing all around her, seaweed quivering by on a passing current. Not a sound was to be heard, only rays of sunlight beaming through the waters surrounded her. Her body felt ever so light as she was losing herself into the bright blue of the ocean. She suddenly looked up to the surface of the water, only to see a barefoot woman dancing gracefully onto it. Casey caught a glimpse of her face from beneath. "Lizzie! How can…" she opened her mouth to call for her sister, choking as water filled her lungs.**_

"_I know the road is long, _

_but where you are it's home, _

_wherever you stay,_

_I'll find a way…"_

"Derek, honey, I don't think she can hear you now. She's deep sedated…"

"No! She'll come back to me. She'll follow my voice, ok! You just don't understand!"

"Der…" Casey whispered as she tried so hard to open her eyes, to no avail. She felt her eyelids were just weighing too much for her to lift them up.

"CASE! I'M HERE, DARLING… I LOVE YOU, OK? I LOVE YOU! NO, CASE STAY WITH ME, COME ON!"

_**She was in the Venturi's home backyard, playing with the flowers that stood tall among the grass, as the rest of the family was watching her while sitting on the bench that was placed beneath the small pine tree. Casey had just wrapped her fingers around a water-mint stalk, fascinated by its lilac flowers, when she saw an eagle flying above her head, rapidly flapping its wings as if it was motioning her to follow it. She looked down to see her backyard fence was gone, open woods awaiting in front of her. **_

"_**Have fun, Casey!"**_

"_**Bye Honey!"**_

"_**See ya, Case!"**_

_**As she started running to follow the bald eagle, the sense of freedom she was experiencing gave wings to her feet as she was almost flying up a gentle slope interspersed with beech and oak trees that provided sun-flecked shade from the heat of the day. Only once did she turn back to look at her family, still on the patio of their backyard, waving their hands at her, smiling widely as to encourage her to keep going. Her heart skipped a beat at that sight.**_

It was late at night. Doctor Welsh looked over nurse Jackie's shoulder, trying to read Casey's medical records.

"Derek…"

The distraught boy looked up to him, his hands still holding tightly onto his fiancée's. His eyes were bloodshot and his lower lip was quivering in fear.

"Der… Why don't you take Casey to Paris?"

The younger's jaw dropped, his face looking almost hallucinated. "What? Paris?"

"Yes, Derek. Every girl wants to go to Paris."

The sand-blonde haired boy looked over Casey's restless sleeping form. He gently caressed her cheek, a sad smile creeping up onto his face. "She's not like any other girl. She's definitely something else"

"Well, there must be a place she'd like to go to."

The boy shook his head, letting his eyes fall shut in frustration. "Yeah, but still, what about it? She couldn't go right now…"

"Derek, I'm the doctor and I think that leaving this hospital, maybe just for a few hours, won't worsen anything for her. Even if she stays here, I'll still have no specific med to give her for this, I told you, it's a battle she has to win on her own. Against her body. Come on Derek. Take her there, wherever it is. Make sure she's awake the moment you get there so she can see it."

**A.M. And chpt 12 is up! Hope you liked it although it was meant to be a bit of a downer**

**Keep in mind that bold italics are Casey's dreams from her delirium.**

**Once again, Thank you so much for the splendid reviews, they mean the world to me! Please, Please, keep liking this and reviewing cuz this story wouldn't exist if it wasn't for your awesome support!**

** CatzzCK : I'm so glad I'm not the only non English native speaker ! you have no idea of how big of a relief that is to me! And Thank you so much for your kind words! I was really sorry for your relatives… **


	13. Chapter 13

**Day 203.**

She slowly opened her eyes, her limp body resting on the passenger seat of the Prince. She weakly lifted her hand so that her fingers were lightly pressed against the cold glass of the car window, as the moving landscapes quickly shifted before her eyes. Her lips were chapped, and quivering, as she tried to speak. She felt as if she was running on empty, her head dizzy and throbbing as she struggled to sort out where she was. Finally she found it in herself to turn her head to the driver's seat, her eyelids heavy and swollen.

"Derek…"

Still driving, he promptly looked over at her, one of his hands letting go of the steering wheel to gently touch her forehead. "It's ok baby. Don't worry." He smiled, his eyes fixing back on the road.

"Mom…"

"She's been with you until we left the hospital. You were sleeping, so maybe you didn't feel her kissing your forehead." He sniffled, letting out a sigh. "The whole family has been right next to you the whole night."

She could sense she was already beginning to drift back to the darkness of her restless sleep. "Where..." she inhaled deeply, striving to stay awake, not wanting his handsome face to disappear once again from before her eyes. "Are we… goi.."

"Sh… baby, it's ok. Save your energies for later. It's a surprise. You know how I used to love making you surprises, right?"

The last thing she saw before everything went black again was the light of dawn, beaming through the car window and making the tears on his cheeks sparkle like pearls.

**Moment 1**.

"Casey! Baby, please, come on wake up!"

She heard his car door being slammed hard as he rushed to her side to help her out of the vehicle. Derek carefully picked her up in his arms and walked her a few steps, before letting the two of them both sit back on the grass, Casey's tiny form resting on his legs as he pulled a warm blanket over her shoulders.

"Baby, please, can you open your eyes for me?" He spoke quietly, his voice calm and tender. He finally realized he was really on top of the world. He had anything he'd ever needed or wished for right there, and at that very moment, he simply knew time was just not on that list. The love of his life was burying her beautiful face in his chest and a wonderful dawn was breaking right in front of him; he could feel light washing over them and the smell of dew on the soft grass beneath him. He simply had _everything_. For the very first time in months, he was finally not scared or tired anymore, because he finally understood how she had been right all along when she would say moments could make a day. And moment like that one could've meant a lifetime for him.

"Baby, please. I know you're tired, but I really want you to see this. Open your eyes, Case." He brought her closer, his fingers entangling into her short hair as he kissed her temple, her skin burning against his lips. "I love you, Casey. Please…"

Her breathing was shallow, almost wheezy, like ocean waves washing up on the shores miles away. She could feel his familiar scent surrounding her as she finally managed to open her beautiful blue eyes. She struggled as she tried to find it in herself to slowly turn her head around to have a look at her surroundings. Tears welled up in her eyes at the marvelous sight in front of her.

"Derek… It's…" she blinked several times as she strived to keep her eyes wide open. "Beautiful… where…"

"I knew you would've loved it, baby." He smiled happily as he kissed her nape. "It's the Greenbelt, Case. I know it's not the Rocky Mountains or the Cimarron, but I couldn't drive all the way to there. So this is still one of the very few places left in Ontario where mustangs run free, though." He stifled a little laugh as he saw how astonished she looked.

"It's… amazing. Der…"

Her gazed wandered over the herd of wild horses running across the meadow only a few feet away from them. A mustang that seemed to be the leader was galloping faster than the others, his elongated legs quickly prancing through the expanse of grass that was flecked with bright yellow dandelions and lilac foxgloves. Poking through the very few white clouds that were wandering across the dawning sky, rays of the rising sun reflected on a pond nearby, making the surface of the water sparkle as the horses ran through the blue lagoon. Casey could see they were heading towards the beech tree woods on the slopes of the mountains that were far away in the distance.

"Derek…" she looked up to him, her feeble voice coming in raspy whispers. "It's the most… beautiful… moment" her chest was quickly rising and falling while choppy breaths escaped her pale lips. "you're… my… Spirit."

"I'm just happy, Case. I really am. I'm happy to be here with you." He kissed her ever so gently, their lips touched for just a second but Derek could've sworn he'd felt as if a whole eternity had passed by in the meanwhile.

"I know… the road… is long… but where… you are…is home…"

He smiled widely as he heard her breathe out the familiar lyrics against his chest, eyes locked with his. He kept stroking her hair as he quietly hummed the song too. "Wherever you stay, I'll find a way…"

She slowly closed her eyes as she kept whispering the words "I'll run… like… a rivr… I'll… foll.. th.. sun."

"I'll fly like an eagle, yes you are the one… I can't stand the distance, I can' t dream alone… It's to you, I will always…"

"Re… turn…"

"Now I know, it's true, my every road leads to you, and in the hour…" he sighed, a sob softly escaping his lips as he held her closer. "Case…"

He was silent for a moment as he kept listening to her shallow breathing, looking up to the rising sun. "Case… Case, please, sing with me. Please, Case."

**A small eternity. **

"Do you really expect me to pretend to not notice the fact that you just got so fat you can't even walk?"

"Derek!" she shouted as she made her way towards him across the meadow "I'm not fat, I'm pregnant!"

"Still looks huge to me!" he grinned as he helped her up the small hill they were climbing. "And I also can't believe that Ricky dude let you travel all the way to the Rocky Mountains with none other than my mindless self!"

"Der, he's my husband, not my keeper" Lizzie let out a small laugh. "And I'm perfectly fine, don't worry, I don't intend to give birth here in the middle of nowhere."

_A brunette was hurriedly walking down the hall upstairs as she was getting herself ready for the ceremony, when she heard silent sobs coming from inside the room opposite to Derek's old one. She slowly turned the doorknob and walked in, as an old, familiar scent embraced her. There, leaning against the patchwork headboard of the bed was a young woman in her bride dress, tears straining her cheeks. "Aw, Lizzie… honey…"_

_She looked up to her sister from where she was sitting, a smile creeping up across her face, although her makeup was still smeared. "I know, I know, I'm a mess, aren't I? I just... oh well, I guess everybody cries on their wedding day. Hey, you're gonna be a stunning maid of honour…"_

"_Hey, come on, now, sis. Let's not make our men wait too long."_

He smiled at her as she held his arm for support. "Man! Look! Now I know why they call it 'the journey of a lifetime'."

She slowly nodded, unable to fully take in all the beauty right in front of her once they had got to the top of the cliff. The gentle slope was covered with little red monkey flowers and delicate white violets and a few feet away, a fir tree almost covered the view of a crystal blue glacial lake, that was nestling into the lap of snow- capped, wooded mountains.

The two of them both sat on the grass under the azure sky.

"Woah, Der. You're right, I _am _getting fat." Lizzie sighed as she struggled to cross her legs.

"Nah, you're not. I mean, it's normal. Plus, honestly who cares about your body fat now! We didn't come all the way to the Rockies to hear you complain about your personal body issues!"

She let out another sigh, giving him a quick smile. "Summer is about to end, isn't it?"

He raised an eyebrow at her, starting to chew nonchalantly on a peppermint stalk. "Yeah. Fall's gonna be here soon."

"_Hey Case…"_

_He looked at her. She was sitting on the couch, her hands on her lap, deeply staring at him with a small smile on her face. "Yeah, before you ask me… today was real shit. I realized fall is coming, you know, as I was walking home tons of leaves from the trees kept falling on me. And plus it darn cold too." He took his coat off and left it on the small table in the foyer, as he finally walked over to the living room, sitting in front of her on his armchair. He looked for a moment into her bright blue eyes as a smile crept up across his face. "I don't think I can hold on the whole winter feeling like this, Case."_

"You know, now that I see you in daylight… this beard kind of looks good on you…"

"Really?" Derek sat back, supporting his weight on his elbows. "I was about to say the same thing about yours!"

"Derek!"

"Kidding…" he chuckled as he moved his gaze back onto the lake again. "Anyways, yeah, I hope it does, although i only sport it 'cause I'm too lazy to shave. Everybody at work says I look older than I already am with this much of a stubble."

Lizzie laid on the grass, smiling at the sun. "You're not _already_ old, Derek."

"Don't expect me to be telling you the same when you'll be 32 yourself!"

She kept her eyes closed as she reached out to smack his arm. "You're such a fool. Anyways, you know… everybody's so happy to see how great you've been doing as far as work goes. I think that ever since you won that award…"

_He let himself collapse on the arm chair, as he saw a pair of familiar blue eyes finally greeting him home._

"_Ah, babe, I'm glad you didn't come, you wouldn't have liked the ceremony anyway." He looked down to the award plaque in his hands. He looked up, feeling his heart melting at the sight of the most beautiful smile she was giving him. "Thanks, Case. Anyways, I don't know if it showed on tv, but best pediatric oncologist of Ontario here looked extremely dumb wearing this stupid tux. I hate having to look even better than I already do naturally…" he chuckled as he ruffled his own hair with his hand. "You know, they think I care about this stupid award. Everybody was so excited… duh, Casey. Doctor Welsh would've been proud of me… we should definitely go pay that guy a visit." _

_She kept staring at him, not a single word escaping her lips as it was obvious he just wanted to let go of all his stress and she seemed to be waiting for him to go on. "When we were 21, if anyone had told me I was to become a doctor, I would've thought they were nuts. Funny, uh? I think I'm probably one of the very few people on this earth to be madly in love with their profession. I wish everybody knew me like you do, baby. They think I'm the most kind hearted human being in the world for doing what I do, but I think we both know that I'm kind of helplessly selfish when it comes to the actual truth about it. I love my job, yes, that's true, but just because it makes me feel… at peace with myself, I suppose. Seeing how everybody hurts in their own personal way… and you can help them… and so they love you for that… I guess it just makes me feel less lonely, Case."_

_She had her hands on her lap, her eyes still locked with his as her lips were curled into a soft smile. _

"_By the way, baby, you look gorgeous with that purple shirt."_

"Everybody's just so proud of you."

"I only wish _someone _was, too. You know."

"She is, Derek. Probably more than anyone else."

He let out a small laugh, lightly pulling at the tuft of hair growing on his face. He stopped chewing at the peppermint leaf and brought his gaze back onto the mountains. "Hey, that's an eagle!"

_It was late in the afternoon and everybody had already gone home, whereas the family had stayed behind, since Derek refused to leave her yet. He was standing there, his arms falling limp at the sides of her body as he kept looking down to where she was._

_A cold wind was blowing, and George was beginning to wondering how to get his son to finally go home with the rest of them. _

"_Smerek, look!" Marti pointed her finger at the sky "An eagle!"_

_He tiredly looked up to the clouds. "That's not an eagle. I think it's just a hawk."_

"_But… Casey said she was going to be your eagle…"_

"_Marti, come on, come here" George scolded her as he took a grip of her shoulders._

"It's a girl."

"What?" he shoot his stepsister a glare, looking puzzled.

"My baby. It's a girl. I guess we all know what her name is gonna be."

Derek smiled widely, his face softening at the sight of Lizzie's protruding belly.

"I'm due in Novemeber… I really wanted it to be December, though."

"Liz, come on, you know it doesn't really matter…"

"Derek, if you think about it, even us coming all the way to here _now_ doesn't _really_ make sense either, but still.."

"I see your point." He handed her a small orange foxglove before lying back onto the ground again, the wet grass tingling his nape as he could still smell the scent of dew. "Sometimes I think that nothing of what I've done in the past 10 years makes sense, you know. Yeah, I do good at work, I try to help Sam to finally find Ralph a woman but then… in the end I still come home to no one every day, and all the numbness I still feel… it scares me."

Lizzie let out a shaky breath, her fingers fidgeting with the delicate flower in her hands. "Sometimes I think I'm losing it too. I keep talking to her. Like, when I'm in the car, or something. I tell her about my day, or what I'm worried about at the moment… you know, just random stuff I can pretty much imagine what she would say about. In my thoughts, she's jokingly jealous for the fact that Marti got to be the maid of honour at my wedding instead of her." She sniffled as she stifled a small laugh, trying to hold back the tears.

"I talk to her too, Liz. All the time. Everyday when I get home I just sit on my armchair and look at that picture of her I have on the table in the living room…"

"The one where she's sitting on the couch wearing a purple shirt?"

"Yeah, that one. I just look at it and talk to her. All the time. Sometimes I cry, sometimes I'm just happy to see her face. Sometimes I just think she's staring at me and I just sit there and stare back for hours."

"Aw, Der…"

"Sometimes I just wish I knew where she is. If she's still trying to find a way to make it back like she said she would've. If she misses me…"

"Derek" Lizzie gently leaned over to cup his face with her hand. "She loved you so much…"

"And now I'm here, we're here but it was supposed to be different. I mean, she loved the Rockies. And the Grand Lake. And I was supposed to take her here one day."

"Derek, you took her to the Greenbelt. And I don't think she minded the difference as long as she was with you."

Derek closed his eyes as he could feel the sunlight washing over him and a soft breeze blowing across his face.

"Here, Der." He opened his eyelids to see she had placed a small silver chain on his chest. "Hey, that's the one Casey…"

"Yeah, the necklace you got her before you left for Spain. She gave it to me before she first got in remission, saying it was a symbol of hope. I had just got together with Ricky so I guess it did work afterall. He and little Casey will be my hopes from now on. So I'm giving it back to you. You were her hope, Derek. She told me. You were her only reason to always keep fighting."

"Liz, I…"

"Let her still be your hope, Derek. She'll inspire you everyday. You know, the day of my wedding I was thinking I couldn't be going to get married without my big sis there with me. But then I thought just how much strong Casey had been throughout all she went through and… I guess I just found it in myself to stop crying and get out of her old room. Although Marti walking in on me in tears kind of helped too."

They let out a small laugh as Derek looked at the pendant of the necklace in his hands. His sun.

Later that day, after they decided to finally go back to the small town they were staying in, Derek was casually going through the radio stations in his car.

"Country music, Derek? Really?"

"Hey come on, I work with kids, the only music I listen to all the time is basically nursery rhymes! Let me have my say on this…"

"_And now, a song all you guys will surely know already… I will always return by Bryan Adams!"_

The two of them both exchanged looks as Derek kept driving.

"_I hear the wind call your name_

_The sound that leads me home again_

_It sparks up the fire, a flame that still burns_

_It's to you I will always return…_

_I still feel your breath on my skin_

_I hear you voice deep within_

_The sound of my lover, a feeling so strong_

_It's to you, I will always belong…"_

"I never knew there was also this version to the song…"

"_Now I know it's true _

_My every road leads to you _

_And in the hour of darkness darlin' _

_Your light gets me through_

Wanna swim in your river - be warmed by your sun

_Bathe in your waters - cos you are the one _

_I can't stand the distance - I can't dream alone _

_I can't wait to see you - Ya I'm on my way home_

_You run like the river - you shine like the sun_

_you fly like an eagle, You are the one_

_I've seen every sunset_

_And with all that I've learned_

_Oh, it's to you I will always, always return!__" _

Derek smiled, looking at the bright blue sky above him through his car window. "Thanks for coming back, Case."

**A.N.= alright guys! Aw I can't believe this is the end at last!**

**Sorry I had Casey die at the end… but I guess it was more likely to happen and plus I think it was more appropriate according to the ultimate message of the story.**

**Well, guys, writing this has been one my biggest challenges, my first fanfiction in an other language from Italian and let me tell u, this story wouldn't be here if it wasn't for your amazing support. I loved all of your reviews and thank you so much for following my story….**

**Thank you for this beautiful journey together**

**Daniela.**


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